Homework Help

Excuses, excuses. Kids have excuses for all sorts of things--for not cleaning their rooms, for not eating their peas and, especially, for not doing their homework.

This weekend families may find a “cure” for the last problem, thanks to author Trevor Romain. He will conduct workshops about homework for kids ages 8-13 at locations in Valencia, Studio City and Tarzana. Just in time, too, since we’re approaching the make-or-break point in the school year.

Romain has written a no-nonsense but also quite funny book, “How to Do Homework Without Throwing Up” (Free Spirit Publishing Inc., $8.95). The paperback is the centerpiece of workshops Romain has conducted at schools and bookstores in Texas, where he lives. The workshops have been so popular with kids and parents there that his publisher put him on tour in New York and California.

On the positive side of the issue, he points out to his young readers, “homework can be useful. If you want something from your parents, use the words ‘I’ve done my homework’ after every sentence, such as ‘I really need that X-men comic book.’ This will make parents happy, and a happy parent will make you happy.”

On the negative side, he blasts the classic excuses.

“Your teacher will not believe the dog ate your homework,” he asserts in the book. “DOGS DO NOT EAT HOMEWORK! A dog will throw up if it tries to eat any type of homework, especially if it’s a science project.”

That admonition is accompanied by a memorable illustration of a beagle warily eyeing a chemistry set and thinking (as we see in a thought balloon), “Oh, gross.”

Another page, devoted to the idea that praying won’t make homework disappear, bears the slogan: “Homework Happens.”

There are also tips on how to avoid developing a condition the author calls “TV-Homework-Neck.” Parents unfamiliar with this malady need only query a child who tries to combine doing homework with watching TV.

Romain will be accompanied Friday and Saturday by author Judy Galbraith, who is also his publisher. She will discuss and sign copies of her own book, “The Gifted Kids’ Survival Guide.” Initially published in the ‘80s and updated this year, her book has been widely read by kids who find themselves struggling to live with the often-misunderstood appellation, gifted.

*

BE THERE

“How to Do Homework Without Throwing Up” and “The Gifted Kids’ Survival Guide,” book signing and workshop with Trevor Romain and Judy Galbraith:

* Fri., 7 p.m., Barnes & Noble, 23630 Valencia Blvd., Valencia; (805) 254-6604.

* Sat., 2 p.m., Bookstar, 12136 Ventura Blvd., Studio City; (818) 505-9528.

* Sun., 11 a.m., Pages Books for Children, 18399 Ventura Blvd., Suite 15, Tarzana; (818) 342-6657.