<i> Snapshots of life in the Golden State.</i> : Getting the Best of a Busted Bustamante

Put not thy trust in computers . . . lest you get output like this. A press release from the office of Assembly Speaker Cruz M. Bustamante about school bonds repeatedly referred to the Fresno Democrat as “Bestowment,” as in “Assembly Speaker Cruz M. Bestowment today called for a change in . . .”

While sometimes a cigar is indeed just a cigar, in Sacramento, a mistake is never just a mistake.

A staffer writing a press release after a news briefing on the bond matter had used the computer’s spell-check function. It highlighted “Bustamante,” as it does any proper name. But the staffer, instead of hitting the “skip” key, hit the key next to it--the “replace” key, inadvertently ordering the computer to erase “Bustamante” and put in the closest approximation in its glossary: “bestowment.”

The truth, or truths, told in Sacramento Rashomon fashion:

Democrats say a staffer for Assemblyman Bill Leonard (R-San Bernardino), who has been caught up in the bond matter, dropped by for a copy and got the uncorrected “Bestowment” draft. This the GOP’s merry pranksters proceeded to distribute far and wide: Bestowment--how appropriate, those Democrats are always giving away something to somebody.

Republicans say the “Bestowment” release was handed out at the press briefing, not written afterward, and that Bustamante staffers tracked down and retrieved every copy--but not quite every copy.

Be prepared. The same spell-check program finds that the closest approximation of GOP leader Curt Pringle’s surname is “prayingly” or “pryingly,” and for “Leonard,” it shows nothing at all.

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Cop dog: “On deck” is no longer a term of art reserved for baseball players or baseball cards. Desert Storm heroes, S&L; outlaws, famous economists (truly) and serial killers have all appeared in collectible cardboard incarnations.

Now, cop cards. Bay Area police are handing ‘em out faster than parking tickets. Berkeley Lt. Walter Randle deals out cards bearing his photo, his stats from the police Olympics, and his department nickname, “Big Dragon.” “I’ve even given some to dope dealers so they know who I am,” he told the San Francisco Examiner. San Francisco mounted police officer Stan Buscovich posed for his with Spike the horse, and Menlo Park’s Lasso (don’t call him Lassie) vom Frankengrund solos on his own card.

But what about the crying need for trading cards for TV cops? Kojak, Sgt. Pepper Anderson, Sgt. Preston of the Mounties and his dog Yukon King (in the NAFTA edition), and Sgt. Joe Friday, all with just the stats, ma’am.

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Deja bu all over again: At a news conference to ensure that California’s billion-pound crop of flawlessly healthy strawberries is not confused with those Mexican berries of hepatitis A notoriety, agriculture’s high and mighty rallied around the state’s red and juicy.

Then, for the benefit of the cameras (and a half-billion-dollar-a-year crop), they all ate of the fruit, from 70 flats brought in for color.

The “eat-me, drink-me” media moment is piling up a long Sacramento pedigree.

In 1993, two GOP state senators had opposed a bill requiring a bitter additive as a flavor deterrent in sweet-tasting antifreeze and windshield wiper fluid, an unfortunate favorite of pets and kids. Across the aisle, Sen. Tom Hayden hoisted a cupful of ethylene glycol, and suggested that if it was so safe, perhaps the honorable gentlemen would take a swig.

The original California Toast was made in 1981 by the often imitated, never duplicated force majeur B.T. Collins, a hard-drinking, hard-headed, hard-to-dislike Vietnam vet who answered complaints about the perils of aerial malathion spraying by theatrically drinking off a tumbler full of spray-strength pesticide at a press conference.

Sure, he died. Twelve years later.

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Tax Time

The state Franchise Tax Board is expecting 13.1 million individual income tax returns to be filed this year. By the end of March, it had received 5.3 million returns, and 3.5 million of those filers had received their refunds. The average 1996 refund is $320; it was $302 in 1995. Here are the number of state income tax returns filed over the last decade, and the state population estimate of 18- to 64-year-olds for each year:

Returns / Population* (in millions)

* Rounded estimates from May 1996, based on 1980 and 1990 censuses.

Source: California Franchise Tax Board; California Department of Finance

Researched by TRACY THOMAS / Los Angeles Times

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One-offs: A top San Francisco sourdough bakery has been bought out by the company that makes Wonder Bread. . . . A 15-year-old reputed Sacramento gang member will be tried as an adult for stealing another kid’s tennis shoes at gunpoint, and stealing a dog from a man who was out walking his pet. . . . A San Bernardino County sheriff’s sergeant told legislators the department’s six-year ban on smoking in jails has created an enormous inmate appetite for candy bars. . . . UC Berkeley hosts the first-ever academic gathering on white folks this weekend, called “The Making and Unmaking of Whiteness.” . . . A La Jolla restaurant served a $100-a-plate South African-theme dinner with lion meat as the entree.

EXIT LINE

“Let me tell you, 65% or 70% of the people who stroll in there are clearly in need of serious therapy.”

--San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown, describing to a business audience in Hong Kong his weekly Saturday morning “audiences” with members of the public.

California Dateline appears every other Friday.