Ruff and Ready
You are standing in the middle of a large dust cloud while half a dozen bleating sheep gather in a sad-eyed clump around your knees. Clutching a plastic paddle-like contraption, you are awkwardly attempting the impossible--to coax the wild-eyed, panting demon that was once your family pet into executing graceful arcs around the arena.
Instead, she is galloping around in a gleeful frenzy. Your dog, if this lunatic fur ball truly is your dog, is having the time of her life. As for you, let’s just say you’re surviving.
No, this isn’t some bizarre adult-education seminar on the joys of ranching. This is sheepherding class. You’re here, gulping dirt and frolicking with smelly livestock, to improve the overall well-being of your dog.
Yes, your dog.
Years ago you thought the precious bundle of fur you brought home was a plain, simple puppy. Wrong. Turns out you unwittingly landed yourself a herding dog. And as any owner of a member of the 20 breeds in this group can tell you, your dog has an all-consuming work ethic. You, on the other hand, would consider gnawing off your left arm if it would earn you an extra week of paid vacation.
At the San Fernando Valley Herding Assn., Ted Ondrak offers herd dogs like yours the much-needed opportunity to express their A-type personalities without wearing a rut in your living room carpet.
He offers reassurance that your pampered pooch isn’t the only one whose sole encounter with livestock has been at your refrigerator meat tray. “A small number of the people who come are ranch owners,” said Ondrak, “but most are just pet owners who come for the entertainment value, exercise and knowledge.”
Stuck in the middle of Ondrak’s dusty arena, you’re wondering exactly how in your day-to-day life you can use this newfound knowledge of stumbling, coughing and spinning in tight, concentric circles. At this moment, you wonder why you didn’t get, say, a lap dog instead of this overachieving pack animal.
Intelligence and enthusiasm are the enticing traits that have made herding dogs, such as border collies, as ubiquitous in the Valley as sports utility vehicles. In fact, considering how often you see collies drooling out the windows of Jeep Cherokees, you suspect pet stores and car dealerships have established a buy-one-get-one-free deal for nature-hungry urbanites like yourself.
The trouble is finding the time to get your four-wheel drive and your four-legged herding machine into the great outdoors where they belong.
It turns out that lounging on the sofa and slurping out of a dog dish is no picnic for your pet. “A lot of people who keep these breeds as pets can’t understand why they have problem dogs, but what people need to understand is that these dogs were bred to do a job,” explains Ondrak. “Sheepherding functions as a reward, a way for the dog to let out pent-up frustration.”
Ondrak’s introduction to herding class spans eight weeks, culminating in a graduation ceremony that opens the door for participation in herding competitions sponsored by the American Kennel Club and Australia Shepherd Club of America.
As with most functions in Los Angeles, however, an audition is required. Ondrak must determine whether or not your dog has the critical herding gene, not necessarily a given even in a herding breed.
Well, it looks like you’re going to be making some new pals of the woolly variety over the next two months. Your border collie has passed the test with flying colors. As you slouch out of the arena, your dog riding an enviable endorphin high, you realize that your pet hasn’t been this excited since you accidentally dropped a handful of ground chuck on the kitchen floor.
Maybe you, too, can grow to love this ordeal. Ondrak claims that some owners have gotten so caught up in the excitement of sheepherding they’ve made it a part of their livelihood.
“I’ve had clients who have never owned livestock, then have moved to ranches after taking this class,” he said. Other people, though, “just can’t seem to grasp it.”
You are quite sure that you belong in the latter group.
Ondrak urges you to take the last minutes of class for practice time, and you reluctantly accept. You step into the garage-sized beginner’s arena. Unlike the professional arena, which could easily accommodate a suburban mini-mall, this ring keeps both your dog and the sheep within easy reach.
The goal--to prevent any of the sheep from breaking away from the group--demands a constant, circling canine presence. However, your dog has decided to run around and around the perimeter of the arena at break-neck speed, having apparently mistaken the ring for a prime stretch of the Autobahn. Meanwhile, you wave a white herding stick ineffectually. This is not encouraging.
Thankfully, another student, Burbank resident Esther Barr, commiserates that the old dog trying to learn the new trick is of the two-legged variety. “My dog knows her stuff, so I’m just trying to catch up to her.”
As her border collie, Jenny, emits a barely contained squeal of excitement upon spotting a fuzzy white orb in the distance, Barr steadies herself for the inevitable full-body leash tug.
“She does love class. She even seems to know what day it is each week.” Barr smiles amiably as she struggles to hold her ground. “Basically, I think she likes the sheep more than she likes me.”
Looking around this oasis of canine contentment, you give in to guilt. A few dusty, woolly evenings a month are a more-than-fair exchange for years of uninterrupted loyalty and affection. Feeling sheepish, you tell Ondrak you’ll be back next week.
Still, one selfish little thought remains: Somebody better round up your bedroom slippers tonight.
* San Fernando Valley Herding Assn. Lessons are $20 each and are given in sessions of eight classes, each three hours long. Times are Mon., 6-9 p.m.; Tue., 9-noon; Thur., 9-noon and 6-9 p.m.; Fri., 9-noon and 6-9 p.m. Open practice Sat.-Sun., 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Located at 23000 Santa Susana Pass Road, Chatsworth. Call owners Ted and Janna Ondrak at (818) 343-1989.
