A Suit That Should Have Been Shelved

“Looney Lawsuit of the Month” honors go to a Southland woman who unsuccessfully sued a discount store after bumping her head on a shelf. It was her reasoning that caught the eye of Citizens Against Lawsuit Abuse, a Torrance-based nonprofit group campaigning against frivolous lawsuits.

The woman said she was searching through a box of merchandise on a lower shelf and struck her head as she rose to stand. She claimed that the store created a hazard by failing to have merchandise fully occupying all available shelf space.

A jury ruled that her case had some serious gaps in reasoning as well.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT: After seeing a flier about a local town hall “meating,” Barbara Paul of Long Beach commented that that would be the place to go if you have a beef (see flier).

STRONG STUFF: In a weekly advertiser, Pat Lund of Cerritos came upon a sale of cocktails that must be pretty darn tasty to be priced that high (see ad).

GLENDALE--THIS IS YOUR LIFE! Movie buff John Gloske has assembled what is probably the world’s first Glendale highlights film, a 12-minute collection of mentions of the city in 18 movies and productions.

“My life’s work is to find enough to put together a two-hour film that I can watch on my deathbed,” quipped Gloske, who began the project while living in Glendale but who now resides in less glitzy Reseda.

ROLL THE PROJECTORS: Without further ado, here is Day 1 of this column’s Glendale Film Festival, courtesy of Gloske.

* “No Man of Her Own” (1932): A door-to-door salesman asks Carole Lombard, “Madame, you want to make your little home here in Glendale attractive, don’t you?” Lombard responds: “Sorry, it can’t be done.”

* “Saboteur” (1942): A Hitchcock movie stars Robert Cummings as an average Joe unjustly accused of being a wartime spy. He laments: “I’m just a guy from Glendale, Calif., wanted by the police.”

* “Nocturne” (1946): A police official’s reaction to revelations about the investigative methods of suspended cop George Raft is described this way: “They claim they could hear him yell as far out as Glendale.”

THERE’S STILL A LITTLE TIME LEFT: Few people are responding to our plea to come up with a name for the years 2000-2009. What will be the successor to the Nineties? The first brave applicant, Sam Kraus, offered this thought: “Since O is sometimes called ‘naught,’ how about, ‘The Naughties’?”

FAIR GAME: Near the Ventura County Fairgrounds, Jeff Bliss of Newbury Park saw a sign outside the Point Cafe that said:

FAIR PARKING--$5.

UNFAIR PARKING--$10.

miscelLAny

The producers of TV’s “Keenen Ivory Wayans Show” placed a suggestion box in front of a police station in Hollywood, asking passersby for their thoughts on police procedures. The advice included (1) “Stay cool dude, don’t be nude,” (2) “You should hold hands” and (3) “Tell us when you’re coming!”

Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053, a few miles southeast of Glendale.