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What: Got A Problem With Baseball? Don’t Take It Out on Norway

Not everything touched by the hand of Nike turns to gold.

Case in point: Those Nike-produced baseball commercials, which begin by tossing up a certain--and usually accurate--complaint about the game (it’s “too long,” “too slow.” etc.) and then knock it back with the same ill-conceived response: “Got A Problem With Baseball? Move To Norway.”

Two points:

1) Slamming the product you’re trying to sell in your own advertising is seldom sound marketing strategy. McDonald’s learned this the hard way after building its Arch Deluxe campaign around kids gagging and grimacing at the very mention of a new “adults-only” hamburger.

2) What did Norway ever do to us?

Norway has long been a reliable friend, a dependable ally, a great place to book a ski vacation. Norwegians are gracious hosts--by most accounts, Lillehammer put on the best Winter Olympics ever--and so nice a people that they discovered America a thousand years ago, yet allowed Spain to take credit for it in 1492.

One more thing: Norwegians play baseball.

The Norwegian Baseball Federation supervises an eight-team Norwegian First Division, currently dominated by Oslo Ballkam, which swept a recent weekend series from Haugaland by scores of 22-2 and 27-1. Ballkam and three other Norwegian baseball teams--Christiana Slaball Klubb, Drobak Baseball Klubb and NTHI Knickers--have their own web sites.

By the look of things, Norwegian baseball has a step or two up on us. Games played in a forest clearing. Outfield fences replaced by rows of majestic sky-scraping evergreens. No one on suspension for drug or spousal abuse. And no annoying “Got A Problem With Baseball? Move to America” TV spots.