NASA is just exploring Mars, but that hasn’t stopped some from contemplating colonization. And, except for a few painful side effects, it could be a sweet life.
Colonists on Mars will be able to jump higher than Michael Jordan, sing deeper than Barry White (because of the planet’s “reverse-helium” atmosphere) and sleep an extra 37 minutes in the morning.
People will wake up to purple-blue skies and a breakfast of hydroponic toast with genetically engineered eggs. After washing that down with a beaker of fresh-squeezed Tang, they’ll strap on a pair of nylon wings and fly to work.
Then at night, gazing at Mars’ two moons after a rousing session of low-gravity sex, they’ll drift to sleep contemplating the many charms of Red Planet life, including: plenty of time for Christmas shopping (Mars has a 669-day year), millions of frequent-flier miles from the six-month voyage from Earth and--most important--the chance to forge a bold new civilization free from such social ills as graffiti, pollution and the music of Michael Bolton.
Never mind that Mars residents probably will have kidney stones the size of asteroids and enough radiation in their bodies to build an atomic bomb. Those are minor glitches.
The suburbanization of the fourth planet from the sun is coming.
Officially, NASA says such an outpost is at least a century away, that the agency’s immediate goal is to “explore Mars, not colonize it,” starting with two more robotic missions in 2001.
But scientists and visionaries already are busy mapping out cities, devising martian calendars and dreaming up bizarre schemes to transform the barren, frozen landscape into a habitat similar to our own.
“Think of it as performing CPR on a dead planet,” says Chris McKay, an astrobiologist at NASA’s Ames Research Center in Northern California.
He and other scientists believe Mars could be brought to life--complete with rivers, flowers and breathable air--by creating a greenhouse effect that would melt the planet’s polar icecaps and form enough oxygen to support human settlement.
But playing God with another world is complicated. Some researchers want to orbit giant mirrors over Mars to reflect sunlight onto the polar caps. Others favor blasting the ice with nuclear missiles or passing asteroids.
McKay’s idea is to dot the martian landscape with factories that produce fluorocarbons, the same gases blamed for global warming on Earth.
Regardless of the method, it could take thousands of years before Mars is converted to the kind of lush, safe and cable-ready environment that earthlings could truly call home.
In the interim, however, the colonization contingent envisions a growing human presence on the planet.
By 2010 or so, NASA says, the first astronauts could be tracking footprints across Mars’ dusty pink surface. Estimated cost: about $25 billion, or just slightly more than the latest salary demands for the cast of “Seinfeld.”
From there, a tiny research base could be established. “It would be picturesque but very austere,” McKay says. “Functionally, it would be like living underwater. You can’t go outdoors without a special suit.”
Life gets easier once the first domed colony goes up, possibly as early as 2050. “People could walk around in short sleeves and have houses,” says Robert Zubrin, author of “The Case for Mars” (Free Press, 1996).
Plus, with gravity at one-third the strength of Earth’s, it actually would be possible to fly. “Just strap some wings on your arms,” says Zubrin, a former senior engineer at Lockheed Martin Astronautics.
Landing might be a problem, though.
According to Dr. Arnauld Nicogossian, NASA’s top medic, weightlessness during long space flights causes weakened, injury-prone bones. The calcium depletion also leads to excruciating kidney stones.
Those side effects appear to be temporary. Returning Mir crews, for example, usually regain muscle and bone strength after several weeks of rehabilitation.
But space radiation is another story. Doctors say long exposure during the six-month trip from Earth could cause cancer.
Despite such hurdles, Mars does possess some tantalizing amenities, such as no earthquakes and the largest mountain in the solar system, Olympus Mons, three times taller than Everest.
Moreover, for anyone who’s ever complained about not having enough time in the day, martian clocks run on a 24-hour-and-37-minute cycle.
Additional benefits come to the fore once colonists begin altering the martian atmosphere. A century after fluorocarbon production begins, the planet will be warm enough for humans to leave their Biosphere-like space domes without having to wear those tragically unhip Michelin Man-style astronaut suits. Instead, a designer oxygen mask and sleek skintight outfit will do.
The thicker atmosphere also will create skies bluer than any on Earth, McKay says. And anyone who removes his respirator to breathe the stuff will be able to talk like Lurch from “The Addams Family” TV show. “It’s the opposite of helium,” McKay explains.
Mars visionaries admit that many important questions still need sorting out.
For example, will residents drink Coke or will Pepsi have exclusive distribution rights? We think Coke should be the official Red Planet soft drink. (Why? Because the writer of this story owns Coca-Cola stock, that’s why.)
Also, who will design the calendar for Mars’ 669-day year? “On Earth, things like that were developed in antiquity,” notes McKay. On Mars, it’s up in the air. Two Wisconsin scientists have proposed an elaborate 22-month format, but Zubrin suggests a 12-month system named after zodiac constellations (speaking of which, how will astrologers cope with the extra-long year?).
Perhaps the biggest question involves who will go to Mars. Will it be refugees from religious and political persecution? Prisoners booted from overflowing jails on Earth? A final remnant of Heaven’s Gate cultists?
McKay says none of the above.
Mars is more like Antarctica than Plymouth Landing or Australia, he argues. And in Antarctica, “the traditional forces behind colonization--gold, fame, religious persecution and overpopulation--haven’t played a role. I suspect Mars will be the same.”
Zubrin predicts that the planet will be settled by a combination of adventurers, scientists and asylum-seekers. Mars, he says, offers a chance to “start the world anew . . . to leave behind as much of the crap as you can and take as much of the good stuff as you can.”
Others aren’t quite so optimistic. Sooner or later, McKay says, human nature will catch up.
At first, he says, things will be fine: “It’s not going to be like a frontier town with hoodlums riding in and out. People who go to Mars will be sent only after a highly selective screening process.”
But the good times won’t last. “Once you get to the point where people are being born on Mars, then the ballgame is completely different. Then you have no control.
“And everything goes to hell.”
The Associated Press contributed to this story.
