A Road by Any Other Name Is Very Hard to Come by

Turnover can be so stressful.

You get so used to someone being around, at your beck and call, happily bowing to your will.

Or at least to your questions about traffic and roads and other driving issues. Street Smart is your servant. Every Monday, there he is, at the bottom of B1, doing your bidding with zest and, darn it, glee.

Of course, Street Smart is not the work of one person, but rather an elite society.

Those who move on leave a legacy of service. They are like stars on a Hollywood sidewalk, valued but often unnoticed and trod upon. Those who join must prove themselves worthy of admission, like young Marines in boot camp, trying to join the few, the proud. The big difference is we try to avoid hard work and obstacle courses, and especially face-full-o’-mud push-ups in the rain.

So don’t think of this as yet another name at the top of this column. Think of it as the passing of a torch down a long, unbroken line.

And what’s in a name, anyway?

If you don’t like your own name, you can always change it.

Changing a street name, on the other hand, is an amazing piece of trickery akin to dancing on a volcano, finding Jimmy Hoffa or winning the lottery.

This is the way we begin to answer our first writer, Jedidiah Hobbs. We figure young Jed probably wanted something a little more positive, but hey, this is a newspaper. You want someone to gloss it over, try the Chamber of Commerce.

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Dear Street Smart:

My name is Jed and I am 8 years old. I have a question for you:

I think the part of Poli Street that has so many palm trees should be named Palm Avenue.

There are about 34 palm trees on one block--my mom and I counted them at night, so I’m not sure exactly how many there are. But enough on the one block between Santa Rosa Road and Catalina Road to change its name to Palm.

I know there already is a Palm Street in Ventura, so it could be named Palm Avenue.

How do you make it so you can change its name so it better fits it?

Jedidiah Hobbs

Ventura

Dear Reader:

Well, there’s no doubt that Poli is one of the lovelier streets in Ventura, as it winds past white-pillared City Hall and Memorial Park. And the stretch of stately palms is a place of great beauty. But it’s not likely to de-Poli-cize any time soon.

Ventura’s senior planner Mark Stephens said anyone trying to change the name would almost certainly run into some heavy opposition. And then there’s the $920 application fee, designed to weed out all but the most serious name-changers.

“Renaming a street is a lot more complex than it might seem at first glance,” Stephens said.

At least some of the residents and businesses along the street would probably disapprove because they’d have to change all that stationery, which can be pretty costly if you’re a company with a busy mail room. The post office also incurs costs with a change, as do various city agencies.

City officials want to be sure that there is no confusion for police and fire departments rushing to an emergency call--a situation that might be especially pertinent because of that other Palm Street in town, so adding a Palm Avenue or Way would only increase the chances for a mistake.

If someone filed an application for a change, the city would notify all residents and businesses affected, as well as the post office. A public hearing would be set before the Planning Commission, which would make a recommendation to the City Council.

However, he added, “If there’s a huge hue and outcry, sometimes the request is withdrawn.”

It’s much easier to try to get your choice on a new street in town, but even that’s difficult because developers usually have names mapped out early.

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Dear Street Smart:

I travel the California 126 frequently into Ventura.

I’m told that in Oregon there’s a law that they can write tickets to people that lollygag out in the left lane. I wonder if there couldn’t be something done in California to pass a similar law.

Wayne Zaelke

Fillmore

Dear Reader:

Sorry, Wayne. California and Oregon have very similar laws with respect to them dang lollygaggers. But lemme tell you, we sure as heck agree with you when it comes to people fluttering along in the fast lane like carefree Monarch butterflies.

We wish to crush them with a big splat on our windshield. If you’re looking for the source of road rage, they’re it.

The law is Section 21654-A of the California Vehicle Code, titled “impeding traffic,” and it’s also used for many other cases, such as two guys stopping their cars on a street to chat and holding up traffic. California Highway Patrol Officer Dave Cockrill said they do give tickets for impeding, but he also asked exactly what Wayne’s definition of that might be. The CHP frequently hears people complain about motorists dawdling in the fast lane . . . at 65 mph.

“If the person is out there going 65 mph in the left lane, they’re going as fast they can go, and that’s not impeding traffic,” he pointed out.

Our neighbor to the north isn’t much different, said Oregon State Police Sgt. Alan Hageman. He echoed Cockrill’s comment that many people say drivers going 65 mph deserve tickets. He also theorized that people just tend to drive fast here in the western United States, and especially in places like Oregon with its wide open spaces.

“It gets a little funny because speed compliance is so poor,” he said.

If you get caught, you’re liable for a fine of up to $104, according to Ventura County Municipal Court official Irene Lopez.

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Peeved? Baffled? Miffed? Or merely perplexed? Street Smart answers your most probing questions about the joys and horrors of driving around Ventura County. Write to: Street Smart, c/o Andy Rose, Los Angeles Times, 93 S. Chestnut St., Ventura 93001, or call the Sound Off line at 653-7546. Include a simple sketch, if needed, to help you explain. In every case, include your full name, address and both day and evening phone numbers. Street Smart cannot answer anonymous queries, and might edit your letter or phone message due to space constraints.