Huizenga Gets a Lump of Coal for His Black Heart

The Washington Post’s Tony Kornheiser found 1997 to be a mostly negative year:

“Worst of all is Wayne Huizenga, the bloated owner of the Florida Marlins, who disrespected the only holy thing in sports: winning a championship. This gasbag spent a ton of cash to win a World Series in a hurry to satisfy his gargantuan ego--and the moment he won it he imploded the team.

“ ‘I’m losing too much money,’ Mr. AutoNation USA wept.

“Excuse me, people have stopped buying cars? When sports owners care more about the profit and loss than the won and lost, they’re in the wrong business. For arrogantly spitting on baseball’s championship, and giving Marlins fans the finger, Huizenga gets a lump of coal.”

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Add Post: Kornheiser also sent along this year-end wish: “To the unfailingly pretentious Roy Firestone, for saying to Dennis Rodman, ‘I don’t consider you the Salvador Dali of sports. I think you’re the Andy Warhol of sports.’ And Rodman, who couldn’t tell you the difference between Pablo Picasso and a wedge of Gorgonzola cheese, for responding, ‘I’m the black Moses.’ Oh, please.”

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Trivia time: Washington State hasn’t played in the Rose Bowl game since 1931. How many bowl games have the Cougars played in since then?

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Regular guys: When the basketball Dream Team found that lodging at Barcelona’s 1992 Olympic village consisted of college dormitory-style rooms and shared bathrooms, they made reservations at a $900-a-night hotel.

The NHL’s Olympians said they’ll rough it at the Winter Olympics in Nagano, Japan.

“I can’t see any hockey player moving because of their room,” said Joel Otto, a Philadelphia Flyer forward who will play for Team USA. “Hockey players can do with a lot less than the basketball guys.”

Said Flyer defenseman Eric Desjardins, a member of Team Canada: “Somehow, knowing the guys, I think we can do without the little bottles of shampoo and expensive hotels for a few nights.”

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Dial direct: After the Chicago White Sox named Jerry Manuel their manager Dec. 4, Manuel made it a point to call controversial left fielder Albert Belle.

In Manuel’s estimation, a little communication now should help lay the groundwork for a productive relationship with Belle down the road.

“The negative things I’ve heard about Albert Belle have come through the media,” Manuel said. “But everyone involved with the White Sox has told me, ‘Hey, you’re going to love Albert Belle.’ I’m looking forward to loving Albert Belle.”

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Trivia answer: Four: the 1981 Holiday Bowl, the 1988 Aloha Bowl, the 1992 Copper Bowl and the 1994 Alamo Bowl.

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And finally: The Tampa Bay Buccaneers wanted a new look before this season. How did they come up with pewter?

“The league told us we could not use any silver and black because of the Raiders, and the 49ers and Cardinals were red and white,” said Rick McNerney, Tampa Bay’s vice president of marketing and communications. “We wanted a color that was very progressive. We came up with tarnished silver--pewter.”

If only all of life’s problems could be solved so easily.