Bringing the Freeway Experience Home
Todd Spotti of La Verne points out that you can now have freeway conditions in your own front room.
Yes, Tuftex of Santa Fe Springs has just introduced two new carpet patterns: “Gridlock” and “Chain Reaction.”
“The names are tongue-in-cheek,” said Lisa Lux, the product designer. “But they are patterns that are kind of linear and intersect. They reminded me of commuting.”
The vehicular theme doesn’t end there, either.
Customers can order the patterns in several different colors, including “SigAlert,” “Rush Hour” and “I-5.” The company didn’t have anything in “Jackknifed 18-Wheeler,” though.
THIRTY ONE DAYS HATH JUNE? Roadside workers seem to have their own calendar, as Robin Swartz noticed when she snapped a sign announcing a project that starts June 31 on the Westside. We were inspired to dig up some of our other favorite time warps, including a Sept. 31 notice and a July 0 sign.
BULLPEN CATCHER HOTLINE: “Dear Ernest and Julio,” by Fred Grimes with David Freed, is a funny collection of correspondence between an alleged “ordinary out-of-work guy” and prospective employers ranging from Idi Amin and Playboy magazine to Calvin Klein and E. & J. Gallo Winery.
For the benefit of Angelenos, we include excerpts of responses Grimes received from three local employers:
* The L.A. Dodgers: “Thank you for your . . . interest in the Dodgers. At this time, we do not have any bullpen catcher positions available. However, please check with us again in the future regarding any employment opportunities. . . .”
* Alhambra-based Harlem Globetrotters: “We appreciate your interest in the Harlem Globetrotters. Unfortunately, we will not be able to incorporate the ‘average unemployed American who is white’ into our show at this time.”
* Glendale-based Baskin-Robbins, asked about the position of ice cream taster: “We will evaluate your experience and background. . . .” That could be good news for Grimes, who had noted in his letter to the company: “I love ice cream, I could eat it all day long (references on request).”
MAYORAL REVIEW: Paul Ecker of Diamond Bar wonders how Mayor Richard Riordan could have forgotten to say in his inaugural speech that he would like to see a roof over the head of every Angeleno, especially Aaron Spelling.
A THIEF’S BITTERSWEET HAUL? Someone stole Charlotte Salomon’s heavy carry-on bag from Los Angeles International Airport the other day and she wonders what the villain’s reaction was when he opened it. “The thief got, not cameras, computers or jewelry,” she said, “but 25 pounds of candy samples from the All-Candy Trade Show in Chicago.”
May his digestive system go into gridlock.
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A happy Fourth of July to all (in fact, a happy July 0-31).
You can get Steve Harvey’s ear by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.
