Hog Heaven

Bikers at the beach? Wow--but more importantly, why? To get a tan? Yeah, right. Try this: Beach Ride ‘97, a charity event to benefit the Exceptional Children’s Foundation that is expected to attract about 7,000 motorcyclists to the San Buenaventura State Beach on Sunday morning.

Besides furnishing a great excuse to take a putt in a hog, the event will have performances by the Gregg Allman Band, the Blasters and Jack Mack & the Heart Attack. Here’s hoping they have more decibels than a herd of Harleys. Tickets are on sale at motorcycle shops throughout the Golden State or are available at the gate.

Since Gregg Allman speaks with the press about as often as Jimmy Hoffa does, the gig presented a golden opportunity to talk to the motor-mouthed Phil Alvin, the Blasters’ front man, who has a doctorate in math and an opinion about everything, especially music.

“Music’s mission is to bring together and blend cultures that came before,” Alvin said. “A Chinese guy doesn’t need to know English to know whether or not I’m sad in a song. . . .

“Music is more of a universal thing. It helps cultures to interface--musicians are always the first guys to talk to each other. Inside the music is the beauty, but how did this beauty come out of all this hatred that seems to be all around us?”

The current version of the Blasters features Alvin singing, Johnny Bazz on bass, Jerry Angel on drums and Keith Wyatt on guitar. According to Alvin, this lineup is as good as any for the band that came blasting out of Downey in the early ‘80s with an infectious blend of rock, swing, country, blues and whatever else they could amalgamate.

“We play American music. I never thought we could play this hard and this good and for so long,” he said.

In the early ‘80s, the L.A. music scene was really rocking with bands such as the Blasters, Top Jimmy & the Rhythm Pigs, the Go-Go’s, X and Oingo Boingo. Things haven’t changed much for Alvin--just his friends.

“Well, a lot of guys I went to high school with got really fat. And a lot of guys that thought I would go bald are bald themselves now. . . . I used to look 50 when I was 15 and everyone treated me accordingly. Now I’m looking younger than myself. It’s either the music or bad living, and I’d like to thank both of them.”

Alvin also has definite opinions about the path that those who are possessed by MTV dreams should follow.

“Learn to play music. Music is not fashion; in fact, it’s the opposite. Fashion is not music. Don’t worry about your hair. Learn to play music, then worry about your hair.”

Once you learn to play music, take it on the road and play it for someone else, said the singer.

“Take it to the street corner--it’s always been the street corner. The Stones sold their royalties and licensing fees--all they’ve ever done or will ever do--for $43 million. Sounds like a lot, huh? But they can make $200 million touring for three months.” For fashion-as-music, look no farther than the Fab Four, according to Alvin.

“The Beatles [were] fashion at its height, singing to a bunch of screaming teenage girls. They were singing songs that were done four years before by guys that could do them better. John Lennon knew that.”

Speaking of fashion, there will be--get this--a biker-wear fashion show at Beach Ride ’97.

Also look for the usual biker shenanigans: a tattoo contest, food, games, drawings and a swap meet.

Even the Dodgers at six games behind aren’t very fashionable, but there’s still time to overhaul the Giants, according to Alvin, the Downey Dodger connection.

“Let’s say the Dodgers’ knees are swollen right now, but I’m not one to abandon a friend when he gets into a fight with more people. Things are going to turn around. They’ll be there at the end. The Dodgers won’t let Downey and Ventura down.”

BE THERE

Devon Allman’s American Blues Revival, 10:45 a.m.; the Blasters, 11:45 a.m.; Jack Mack & the Heart Attack, 1 p.m.; the Gregg Allman Band, 2:30 p.m.; at San Buenaventura State Beach, 901 San Pedro St. Sunday starting at 10 a.m. $20. (800) 696-3727.