Homeless but Not Clubless
Sergio Ortiz of Malibu sent along a local newspaper story illustrating that even the homeless in that community have a higher standard of living:
The article said: “A 33-year-old Malibu transient claims his sleeping bag, blanket, golf club and balls and duffel bag were taken from a hiding place between 7 a.m. June 22 and 2 a.m. June 23.”
TALK ABOUT A FAST PACE CAR: Bruce Gerhardt of Long Beach attended the races at the new California Speedway in Fontana, where the scoreboard recorded one speed of 63,716.81 mph (see photo). He didn’t notice anyone that fast, but then how could the human eye?
IF IT’S NOT EARTHQUAKES, FIRES, FLOODS . . . Stephen Tarzynski of Santa Monica spotted an alarming sign on a tree-trimming day in that usually quiet city (see photo).
Tarzynski can already see the name of the horror movie sure to follow: “Invasion of the Killer Trees!”
A LIBRARIAN BREAKS HER SILENCE: Birmingham High librarian Lois Feldman, retiring after 32 years in public schools, e-mailed this column some of her favorite student comments:
* From a car lover’s composition: “If I had a million dollars, I would buy my mother a Catolic.”
* Student No. 1, explaining what scientific innovation Einstein was known for: “I think it was the light bulb.” Student No. 2, elbowing No. 1 in the ribs: “No, stupid. That was Thomas Jefferson.”
* Question from a puzzled library-goer: “Where is your autobiology section?”
* From a high school senior who couldn’t find Walt Disney under “W” in the card catalog--and was reminded by a librarian how to look up names. “You mean Walt Disney’s a person?”
Finally, there was the treasured certificate a librarian received for being the PTA’s “faulty” representative.
NIGHTMARE BARBIE: The Wall Street Journal profiled a 19-year-old resident of China who was employed at a Barbie doll factory in the coastal town of Changan, where, she says, she was required to work seven days a week, often at 12-hour shifts with just a few minutes for lunch, no overtime pay and one day off each month if she was lucky. And the workers lived 12 to a room. El Segundo-based Mattel says the company will not “tolerate” such situations and is monitoring the factory.
IT WON’T COMPUTE: Don Story came upon a notice for a college math club that reminded members, “Don’t drink and derive.”
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An ad for a GTE pager that was titled “Expectant Father Finder,” inspired a suggestion from Louise Grijalva. “Maybe,” she said, “the county should have a ‘Deadbeat Dad Finder.’ ”
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Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.
