Young Readers Want to Know . . .

Responding to our discussion about school libraries, Joe Strapac writes, “I taught high school and remember a librarian once explaining the two questions she heard most often from students.”

One was: “Where are the thin books?”

And the other? “Where are the rest rooms?”

DINING OUT WITH ONLY IN L.A.: This special section brings you a Condor Bleu plate in the LAX employees cafeteria, which prompted Donald Russell of Redondo Beach to comment: “Now we know why they’re endangered.” David Reskin, meanwhile, visited a Hollywood eatery and says, “I wanted to compliment the chef on the crabs, but he was tied up.” (see accompanying).

And that’s not all.

Will Harriss of Woodland Hills noticed an ominous listing on a menu that said: “Children Under 10 Years of Age: Served with fresh baked goods, fresh fruit plate . . . “

And, finally, Armand Varlotta of Rancho Palos Verdes writes: “My Italian sensibilities are offended. The menu board at the Studio Commissary in the Universal Studio Tour listed ‘Anti Pasta.’ Have they got something against Italians or carbohydrates?”

I’M LOSING YOU (GURGLE): Tris Wykes and Marsha Ried were driving out of a mall parking lot in Westlake Village when they saw a small crowd around a man-made pond.

“Some helpful types were trying to lean in and fish something out,” Wykes says.

“Finally, a man with an upside-down broom pulled the quarry close to the edge. He triumphantly pulled out a dripping . . . cell phone.”

Apparently it was his because he put it to his ear and said hello several times.

Commented Ried: “Like the person on the other end would still be there even if the phone wasn’t fried.”

NOT-SO-HOT MERCHANDISE: After reading about the thief who netted a 25-pound haul of candy in a suitcase at LAX, Stella Dobrzanski of Colton came up with another Stupid Criminal Trick.

Her sister had just left a market when a transient snatched her shopping bag. “He probably envisioned a bagful of goodies just purchased,” she says.

What the bad guy didn’t know was that the victim had just finished working at the market bakery operated by her and her husband.

“What he got was a bag full of wet, dirty rags and old dish towels that had been used to clean the shelves and counters,” Dobrzanski says.

Truly, a thief with dirty hands.

WE’LL DRINK TO THAT--MAYBE: Regarding an item on faulty translations, Harry Orlove says he was reminded of a fortune cookie he was given a couple of years ago. The message said: “If you satisfy your thirst, you are soon to be received.”

Orlove, taking no chances, adds: “I have no idea what it means but I’ve carried it with me ever since.”

DID HE CALL IT HARVEY? Sure, Rita Luther of El Sereno had imbibed a glass of wine to celebrate a new job before driving home.

But she swears she wasn’t imagining things when she spotted a man in a gray suit, at the corner of 5th Street and Broadway, pushing a baby stroller with a live rabbit inside.

At least it wasn’t a condor.

miscelLAny

From our Southern-Californians-on-the-road file, Chris Wurster of Lancaster sent us a photo of a marquee at a Sysco Foods store in Rapid City, S.D. The store apparently didn’t catch the second meaning when it posted this message: “At Sysco We’ve Upped Our Savings; Now Up Yours.”

Steve Harvey can be reached by phone on dry land at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.