At Marine Corps Reunion, It Was Like Deja Vu

I went to the reunion of my World War II Marine Corps fighter squadron in New Bern, N.C., last week. Most of us were still in fine fettle and, if asked, would have gladly shot down any Japanese planes that were still thinking of attacking Pearl Harbor.

The reunion was particularly nostalgic because in order for us to get to New Bern, we had to fly in planes that appeared to have been built in World War II. The airline company servicing New Bern was using prop planes that made the ones from our fighter squadron days look like the space shuttle.

As we sat around the Ready Room in the Holiday Inn, we discussed what World War II would have been like if the people behind today’s airline counters had been in charge of the VMF-113’s combat missions.

Frank Drury said, “Suppose we got the word that the Japanese were launching a surprise attack on Cherry Point? We’d say to the airline clerk at the New Bern airport, ‘We have to have a squadron of fighter planes to avenge this day of infamy.’ ”

The clerk would ask: “Do you have any luggage?”

“Here’s my driver’s license. Just give me a plane.”

“Did you want the special nightly fare, the ‘no-frills’ as we call it, where you can’t land in Charlotte, or did you want to go business class with our free pretzel service?”

“I don’t care as long as I can shoot down a Zero.”

“I can give you a fighter plane, but you’ll have to change in Atlanta, Ga.”

“Why?”

“Because everyone changes in Atlanta.”

“OK, just let me get in the sky so I can bring down one of these SOBs.”

“My computer is down, sir. I am unable to allocate a plane to you after all.”

“But we’re about to be attacked and we have to defend ourselves.”

“Just take a seat over there and we’ll route you via Dallas. Tora, Tora, Tora.”