LAUGH LINES

“WorldCom long distance phone company has announced it wants to buy MCI for $30 billion,” says Jay Leno. “Their strategy is to keep calling MCI executives at home at dinner time until they agree to switch over.”

* A U.S. study says baby boomers absorbed major amounts of radiation as kids in the ‘50s. “It’s not true,” explains Argus Hamilton. “The younger researchers mistakenly thought that those coonskin caps on our heads were side effects.”

* “The Pentagon announced plans to fire a laser at an aging satellite to test the vulnerability of U.S. satellite systems. Maybe they can aim a little to the left and hit the Home Shopping Network.” (Mark Wheeler)

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