Laugh Lines
* “Home Improvement” star Tim Allen will be paid $1.25 million per episode in his ninth year on the show. Says Argus Hamilton: “From now on, he’ll be buying all his tools from the Pentagon.”
* The president and most handgun makers have come up with an agreement on childproof triggers. “This is great,” says Paul Steinberg. “If the childproof triggers work anything like childproof aspirin bottles, adults won’t be able to use guns either.”
* “The Senate defeated the McCain-Feingold campaign finance reform bill. No one will take credit for the kill. Five GOP senators were last seen heading for the golf course to find the real killers.” (Hamilton)
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* SEND US A LINE: Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Life & Style, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.
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