Phantom Notes on Pantages’ ‘Opera’

Throughout Andrew Lloyd Webber’s “The Phantom of the Opera,” the masked man sends notes to other characters--with demands, but also with memo-like comments on the productions of the opera company with whom he shares his living quarters. Exactly how these notes are delivered is left suspiciously unclear.

One of them, however, arrived via e-mail this morning. Addressed to the producers, it revealed that the famous man and occasional murderer is truly mellowing. Here’s what he had to say about the company that on Wednesday night opened “The Phantom of the Opera” at the Pantages Theatre in Hollywood:

1--Thanks for finding California lodgings that actually begin to resemble an old opera house. For more than four years you put me up at the Ahmanson Theatre, and then you briefly took me to the Orange County Performing Arts Center. Those modern buildings just don’t feel like home to us 19th century types. The gilt and glitter of the Pantages are more like it.

2--Then again, maybe it’s too glittery. Your own much-vaunted chandelier looks puny next to the actual Pantages chandelier and all the decoration around it. And from the back rows of the orchestra, the customers can’t even see the show’s chandelier--when it’s in position, that is--because the bottom of the balcony blocks their view. Still, they’ll see most of its ascent and descent. And come to think about it, that chandelier is so overrated--the audience should think about me, not that bedraggled bank of lightbulbs.

3--Ever since Christine abandoned me, I haven’t adopted any other ingenues. To quote the great Hal David, I’ll never fall in love again. So I’m not going to insist on any particular casting of the leading lady. Your current Christine, Sandra Joseph, seems a bit girlish compared to Dale Kristien, but she grows up fast in the last scene, and her voice is sweet.

4--Ron Bohmer, who plays me, is more in the tradition of Davis Gaines than of Michael Crawford: a rich and powerful voice, a commanding physicality. This is good--I’m glad you noticed that I’ve been working out in the gym. Still, it didn’t seem that Bohmer prowled around the catwalk as much as those others did at the Ahmanson--or maybe I just couldn’t see him up there from my vantage point.

5--Although I’ve often dissed your chief diva, Carlotta, I admit it--this production’s Carlotta, Patricia Hurd, is very funny. Most of the supporting characters go through their paces with no problems. Lawrence Anderson is, I guess, about as good as that sniveling Raoul is ever going to get. Let’s face it (ouch--that hurts), you guys and director Harold Prince maintain quality control--and that applies to the sets and costumes as well as to the cast.

6--It’s possible that a few of my fans won’t like “The Phantom of the Opera” as much as they used to, because in the meantime they’ve also seen “Phantom,” another musical version of my story. It paints a much more complete and sympathetic picture of me and my troubled past, thanks to Arthur Kopit’s book. By contrast, the Richard Stilgoe/Lloyd Webber book that you use makes me much more of a monster. Maybe I should consult an attorney.

7--Speaking of consultations, I’m pretty close to Beverly Hills now, aren’t I? Can you recommend a good plastic surgeon?

Ciao for now.

*

* “The Phantom of the Opera,” Pantages Theatre, 6233 Hollywood Blvd. Tuesdays-Saturdays, 8 p.m.; Sundays, 7:30 p.m.; Saturdays-Sundays, 2 p.m. Also Nov. 24, Dec. 22, 29, 8 p.m.; Nov. 28, 2 p.m. Dark Nov. 30, Dec. 24, Jan. 1. Ends Jan. 4. $17-$67; Dec. 22-Jan. 4: $17-$72. (213) 365-3555. Running time: 2 hours, 40 minutes.