So Now We Have the Gutty Little Br. . . , er, Buffaloes

Colorado hasn’t beaten Nebraska in football since 1991, but Buffalo Coach Rick Neuheisel isn’t uncomfortable with the situation.

“UCLA [once] had that same inferiority complex in regard to SC,” Neuheisel, a former Bruin quarterback and assistant coach, told Tom Kensler of the Denver Post.

Neuheisel led UCLA to a 27-17 victory over USC in 1983 and, later, as an assistant coach, was in on the first three years of the Bruins’ current six-game winning streak over the Trojans.

“I was part of the mentality changing,” Neuheisel said. “Now SC people are wondering if they’re ever going to beat the Bruins. It can change. But it doesn’t happen overnight.”

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Trivia time: What NCAA Division I-A record does Neuheisel still hold?

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Vicious! Gene Wojciechowski in the Chicago Tribune: “Notre Dame will lose three games this year: one at Stanford, one at LSU and one at CBS, where former Irish coach Lou Holtz now sits in a studio analyst’s chair.”

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Bird-watch: During his retirement, Larry Bird liked to get up early so he went to bed at 9 p.m.

“Early morning is the best and quietest and most beautiful part of the day,” said the rookie coach of the Indiana Pacers. “In fact, I asked the Pacers to start their games at 7 [p.m.] so I can stay awake for the last quarter.”

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Enduring image: From the Good Doctor in Inside Sports:

“Q: What was the plot of that movie ‘Men in Black?

“A: Violence, chaos, the possible destruction of the entire world . . . in short, a typical Oakland Raider game.”

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Light sentence: Tom FitzGerald in the San Francisco Chronicle: “With a disapproving eye toward the Major League Baseball Players Assn.’s efforts to reinstate Tony Phillips, Steve Lopez of Sports Illustrated says the union ‘could have gotten Manuel Noriega off with 20 hours of community service.’ ”

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Triple threat: Northwestern starting wide receiver Brian Musso, when asked for three words to describe himself: “Short, slow, hairy.”

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Zzzzzz: Charlie Vincent in the Detroit Free Press: “God never made anything as ugly as the fourth quarter of an NFL exhibition game.”

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Yum yum: John Crumpacker in the San Francisco Examiner: “[Detroit] Lion Coach Bobby Ross rates hamburgers with onions and gravy as his favorite food. Gravy, on a hamburger? How uncouth.”

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Trivia answer: Neuheisel holds the record for highest percentage of passes completed in a game with a minimum of 20 completions, 92.6%, 25 of 27, against Washington in 1983.

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And finally: First dumb question of the NFL season--and surely not the last--from a TV reporter asking New York Jet Coach Bill Parcells: “If you were to bring this team to the Super Bowl, do you think they should change the name of the Meadowlands to Parcells-land?”

Parcells’ response, after a long pause: “Is LSD back?”