Punch Lines

Spaced Out: “Lost in Space” is a high-tech movie version of the ‘60s TV show. Producers were so worried it wouldn’t do well they considered changing the name to “Danger Will Hunting.” (Premiere Radio)

Snippy, Isn’t She?: Lorena Bobbitt was acquitted last week of punching her mom over family bills. You can’t blame her mother for calling the cops. When Lorena threatens to cut you off, it takes a whole new meaning. (Argus Hamilton)

Potty Training: Preparing for a mission in space, Sen. John Glenn, 76, went to NASA space training camp. His rigorous training included two weeks of a low-fiber diet, wearing a spacesuit with a trifocal face mask and trying not to get up and pee three times a night. (Jerry Perisho)

Barbie Shop Talk: Parents are upset over the Cool Shoppin’ Barbie credit card doll because she’s a blond with plastic breasts, no brains and unlimited credit cards. But Mattel likes the concept so well, next month they’re coming out with Bankruptcy Court Ken. (Trace Keasler)

Fall Back, Springer Forward: The “Jerry Springer” show will begin posting a disclaimer about the show’s content. It reads: “Kids, this program shows adults acting like immature, snot-nosed third-graders. Turn it off and watch PBS.” (Perisho)

Sugar, Sugar: Sucralose, a food additive that’s 600 times sweeter than sugar, was approved recently by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. “Its makers have also just received approval for a substance that’s 600 times more sour than vinegar. It’s called Paula Jones.” (Joshua Sostrin)

That Awkward Age: A 13-year-old middle school boy has been accused in Virginia of arranging sex between other students for money. It just shows you how times have changed. When I was 13, I couldn’t arrange sex between two parts of my own body. (Steve Voldseth)

You Go, Girl: “Despite the lawsuit brought by Leonardo DiCaprio, Playgirl says it’s determined to publish the photos because it wants to attract a new group of readers--women.” (Craig Kilborn)

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The Internal David Letterman:

Top 10 other ways President Clinton is the luckiest guy around . . .

6. He’s got a patient, understanding wife, and Hillary’s never found out about her.

1. Starting next week: a fresh crop of interns.

* SEND US A LINE: Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Life & Style, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.