WASHINGTON INSIGHT

“KING LEAR”: Who says Washington has no sense of humor? Even as President Clinton was preparing to testify before a federal grand jury, with independent counsel Kenneth W. Starr bearing down on him, a spoof of Shakespearean proportions was making the rounds. Clinton is cast as King Lear, telephone taper Linda Tripp as a witch and Kenneth of Starr as the inquisitor. Act One opens in a forest glen with Tripp telling Starr: “Double, double, Webster Hubbell, I think I got the Creep in trouble. Eye of Newt, strap of bra, Could it be he broke some law?” The curtain falls with a bow from the freshly neutered, and embittered, Buddy, bugged by Starr to get the goods on his master: “So dearest reader, I bid adieu. Me seeth I have much to do. And so it comes to this pretty pass to see if the king doth get some . . . class.”

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SPREADING STAINS: Tired of the public airing of Clinton’s dirty laundry, a Beverly Hills schoolteacher has launched a novel protest against Starr--one that involves real dirty laundry. After dreaming up the idea at the Bel-Air Hotel piano bar, Lynne Shapiro is encouraging those disgusted by Starr’s investigation to send his office a piece of dirty laundry--preferably blue to match former intern Monica S. Lewinsky’s now infamous stained dress. Shapiro has sent along blue bikini bottoms, blue panty hose and “old disgusting” bedroom slippers. She has also spread word of her campaign through the Internet and several radio appearances. “It’s a protest movement,” she said. “It’s civil disobedience.”

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GLASS HOUSES? With some notable exceptions, until Clinton’s public confession, most members of Congress had remained remarkably silent on allegations that he had a sexual relationship with an intern. Some speculated that the reticence was because of the lawmakers’ own checkered pasts. Rep. Barney Frank, an openly gay Massachusetts Democrat who once had to admit to paying for the services of prostitutes, allowed as much. “I’m probably not the guy to point the finger for making an irresponsible sexual judgment,” he said Monday.

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MONEY WHIZ? Mirror, mirror on the wall, who knows more about money than anyone in the world? Alan Greenspan, of course. So where does the investment-savvy Federal Reserve Board chairman put his own personal fortune? Into garden-variety short-term U.S. Treasury bills. According to Greenspan’s official financial statement, he owned about $2.4-million worth of such “stock” in Uncle Sam in 1997--along with about $466,000 in money market and credit union accounts and a $500,000 bond in Norfolk Southern Corp. But why opt for Treasury bills, which aren’t exactly considered a go-go investment? Like many top government officials, Greenspan previously had kept most of his assets in a blind trust, but aides say he decided to liquidate when he married NBC-TV correspondent Andrea Mitchell. Investing in Treasury bills leaves Greenspan free of any appearance of a possible conflict of interest--and a good bit poorer than if he had been able to be more irrationally exuberant and invest in stocks.

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ON THE RUN: He may be a virtual shoo-in for reelection, but Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle (D-S.D.) is nevertheless running hard these days. With two water bottles strapped to his waist and the headset of a Walkman jammed into his ears, Daschle was a picture of determination last week as he jogged along the Capital Crescent Trail. It turns out Daschle is training for a marathon.