You Can Be Sure That ‘Me’ Is in His Vocabulary

The most closely guarded secret in the Miami Dolphins’ camp is Coach Jimmy Johnson’s team roster, complete with day-to-day notations on how each player is doing. Even his assistant coaches do not see the document. Johnson doesn’t talk about it with them or his players.

“Sometimes the coaches want to talk about it, but I’m emphatic that they don’t speculate about who’s going to make it, who’s not going to make it or who’s going to be a practice squad player,” he told the Miami Herald.

“That’s not their concern. I do that. We don’t do that.”

*

Trivia time: How many times have brothers hit home runs in consecutive at-bats in the major leagues?

*

Comparisons: Pittsburgh Pirate left fielder Al Martin dived into the third row in foul territory at Dodger Stadium to make a highlight catch of Gary Sheffield’s fly ball last week. Earlier in the season, right fielder Turner Ward ran through a wooden fence to make another spectacular catch.

Which was better?

“Al’s was an aerodynamic pirouette,” said Ward. “Mine was brutal stupidity.”

*

Fatherly advice: Ken Griffey Jr. says his dad wanted him to be a doctor and his brother, Craig, to be a lawyer. The father’s reasoning:

“In case you [Ken Jr.] get a malpractice suit, your brother can help you out--and he won’t charge you.”

*

How about a ‘W’? Rod Beck likes being the Chicago Cubs’ closer, but there is one thing he doesn’t like about pitching at Wrigley Field. When the Cubs lose, they fly a flag with a large “L” to let the fans know the home team lost.

“It’s bad karma,” says Beck.

*

How much is too much? Larry Walker, the Colorado Rockies’ outfielder who was the National League most valuable player last year, makes $5 million a year, a bargain at today’s price scale. Thirty-six major leaguers make more, but is Walker upset about it? Apparently not.

“I don’t know how anybody in this world can be underpaid when he’s making $5 million a year,” he said.

*

Baby steps: Heisman Trophy winner Charles Woodson has made an impression as a rookie defensive back on Willie Shaw, defensive coordinator of the Oakland Raiders.

“He has a knack for a ball, he really does,” Shaw said. “Some things we just can’t coach. Some things come from the crib.”

*

The real story: When Philadelphia Phillie catcher Mark Parent hit a home run against Arizona, some of the Diamondbacks said that he took too long to circle the bases.

“I wasn’t used to it,” explained Parent, who had not hit a home run since September 1996. “By the time I got to shortstop, I was exhausted.”

*

Trivia answer: Once. Lloyd and Paul Waner hit consecutive home runs for the Pittsburgh Pirates on Sept. 15, 1938.

*

And finally: Penn State Coach Joe Paterno, who will be 72 in December, on why he doesn’t retire: “I have to get up in the morning with something to do. And I don’t golf.”