Japanese Fathers Learn a New Role: Dad

Mikio Tanaka considers himself a dedicated father--and proved it by taking off three months to care for his baby boy.

That makes Tanaka something of a revolutionary in Japan, where men are better known for working long hours and bar-hopping with clients than mixing baby formula and changing diapers.

“It was tough, but it was also a lot of fun,” Tanaka said, sitting on the living room floor as his 22-month-old son, Daiki, hung on his back. “I saw the first time he stood up. It was a great experience.”

Tanaka, 31, is one of a growing number of fathers in Japan who are taking a bigger role inside the home.

Men are a common sight with kids at parks and zoos on the weekends, though often seen stifling yawns. Books and magazines counsel fathers on how to play with and care for their kids.

For Japan’s overworked housewives, the change is overdue. A recent government survey found most dads play with and bathe the kids, but fewer than 40% change diapers or put children to bed.

In Tanaka’s case, his wife, Ayako, 28, was reluctant to take the full year of maternity leave to which she was entitled as a public high school teacher.

Fortunately for Tanaka, a department chief at his company had taken paternity leave a few years before, so his proposal to take three months’ unpaid leave was not a total shock to his bosses.

“If I asked for a year, maybe they would have said no,” he said, adding that even his parents were skeptical, worrying the move would hurt his career.

Ayako took Daiki’s first three months off; then it was Tanaka’s turn when she went back to work. Daiki started day care full-time at 6 months.

Tanaka said the feeding and diaper-changing was easy to get used to, but the isolation from adults was tough.

“I had no one else to talk to. It was a big change from work,” he said. “And then my wife would come home from work that she was really enjoying--I was jealous.”