WASHINGTON INSIGHT

NOW PLAYING CENTER: Treasury Secretary Robert E. Rubin followed a speaker, considerably shorter than he, to a lectern the other day and found a box upon which the previous speaker had stood so that she could reach the microphone. As he contemplated climbing atop the box, he betrayed his New York roots, saying: “If we left that little stoop out, I could be tall. Then I could play for the Knicks.” To which basketball fan Bill Clinton, awaiting his introduction by Rubin--and ruing the missing pro basketball season--chimed in: “Not this season!”

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SHAKESPEARE’S POLITICIANS: Since they had to pass the metal detectors of Secret Service agents, everyone at the Shakespeare Theatre here knew something was up at Sunday’s matinee performance of “Twelfth Night.” So they stood and applauded handsomely when the first family--Bill, Hillary and daughter Chelsea--stepped into the fifth row of the orchestra section. Judging by the joke that produced the loudest guffaws, the presence of the president remained on everyone’s mind during the performance of the Shakespearean comedy. The high point of laughter came when the foolish, fumbling Sir Andrew Aguecheek announced that he hated “policy.” Speaking loudly and clearly enough for every word to sink in, Sir Andrew said, “I had as lief (archaic English for willingly) be a lawyer as a politician.” That brought down the house. The local company actually took some liberty with the script. Shakespeare, searching for something despicable enough to compare with a politician, had written: “I had as lief be a Brownist as a politician.” Brownists were followers of a renegade British clergyman in the 16th century. Since the movement is practically unknown these days, the Washington company decided to substitute lawyer for the two-month run of the play. Heaping scorn on lawyers and politicians in the same sentence strikes a lot of funny bones in a Washington audience-- especially when the first family is laughing along.

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Y2CLINTON: Just when we thought those folks in the White House--the Clintons and the Gores--were up-to-the-minute techno-whizzes, comes this indication from Clinton that the first lady is still struggling with the digital age. In the midst of touting the progress of the Social Security Administration in making sure it would not be brought down by the so-called Millennium Bug in 2000, the president said he found Hillary “so technophobic” as he described the problem to her “that I gave her a little digital alarm clock for Christmas.” Not a good idea, he found out. “She gave it back to me, after I talked to her about it, and she said, ‘Why don’t you just go get me one that winds up, that I can change with my hand?’ ”

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NOT QUITE SINATRA: The saga of Monica S. Lewinsky, Clinton and company has made for some grim times, but it also has generated its share of humor (albeit often off-color and sometimes downright tasteless). Take the 18th and latest album by the venerable Capitol Steps, the Washington recording group that turned their weekend musical parodies of their congressional bosses into a full-time career. We can’t repeat the title here, but we can share a few lines from the number “The Linda Is a Tripp,” (an ode to the famous taper, sung to the tune of “The Lady is a Tramp”). To wit:

“She gets real nasty with people she likes, Each day for breakfast she eats nails and spikes, She wires her body with cords and with mikes, That’s why the Linda is a Tripp. When you’re with Linda, hey watch what you say. That guy behind you could be the DA . . . .”