‘Kindergarten’: Lessons in Small, Quick Doses

Such a nice little show.

That’s all you really need to know about “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten,” presented by International City Theatre at the Center Theater in Long Beach.

You probably already know that it’s based on former Unitarian minister Robert Fulghum’s best-selling collections of wry, common-sense uplift. If you’re a Fulghum fan, you may wonder how Ernest Zulia’s adaptation stacks up against the experience of simply rereading the books.

While reading, of course, you can pace yourself, which might give more time for the messages to sink in. In the show, you get nearly two dozen stories and reflections in one sitting. Some of the acted-out sermonettes are more comic than others, but the morals that sum up each morsel--and the nods and smiles they produce--are somewhat repetitive. For someone who’s looking for a long-term guide to better living, Unitarian-style, this surfeit of sentiment on one night probably isn’t as useful as many daily doses.

On the other hand, the theater offers elements that aren’t on the printed page: in this case, five skillful storytellers and singers who put a wider spectrum of faces on Fulghum’s words than you might get from your mental picture of the author himself, as well as occasional infusions of a serviceable but hardly thrilling score by David Caldwell.

Director caryn morse desai and the cast make this a graceful evening of good cheer. It’s certainly easier to watch 150 minutes of this than it would be to listen to one long sermon. The cast keeps the stage in motion. The most atypical sketch, which exists mainly to ridicule a harried neighbor, gets the most vigorous staging, so that the pumped-up physicality diverts us from considering how shallow the writing is.

The action begins even before the actors arrive, as the audience spontaneously claps and stamps feet in a recorded version of “If You’re Happy and You Know It, Clap Your Hands.” The cast plays kindergarten students and college students in the opening two sketches, but generally this is a show for adults who want to revive a sense of adventure, not for kids.

In the vigorous older-man roles, Jacob Witkin uses his resonant voice without pretension. Dan Collins has a flexible face that he screws up for the comic-relief oddballs, while Robert Yacko ably dispenses leading-man charm. Christopher Callen brings solid authority to the mature women; Ilene Graff has a slightly more girlish quality.

Befitting the show’s ethos, the set and costumes are simple and straightforward, though lighting designer Paulie Jenkins gets a little more latitude to show off.

The show may satisfy those who like to hear a moral every five minutes. But many people expect to be engaged by a more sustained conflict when they consider moral issues in the theater.

Fulghum’s way of reducing everything to its barest bones is, in this sense, anti-theatrical. For example, the show has Yacko demonstrate how Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony is his antidote to depression. And if it doesn’t work for you? Too bad; we’re already on to the next sketch.

* “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten,” Center Theater, 300 E. Ocean Blvd., Long Beach. Thursdays through Saturdays, 8 p.m.; Sundays, 2 p.m. Ends March 8. $28 to $30. (562) 938-4128. Running time: 2 hours, 30 minutes.

With Christopher Callen, Dan Collins, Ilene Graff, Jacob Witkin, Robert Yacko, accompanist Dan Belzer.

An International City Theatre production of Robert Fulghum’s work, conceived and adapted by Ernest Zulia. Music and lyrics by David Caldwell. Directed by caryn morse desai. Music director Darryl Archibald. Choreographed by Terry Barto. Set by Bradley Kaye. Lights by Paulie Jenkins. Costumes by Alex Jaeger. Sound by Mario Mariotta. Stage manager Greg Renne.