SEX IN THE WORKPLACE: A TV AFFAIR

If President Clinton is confused about proper behavior in the workplace, it could be he’s watching too much television.

On both sitcoms and dramas, productivity is down and hanky-panky is up. Way up. Colleagues do it, bosses and minions do it, defense attorneys and prosecutors do it. TV doctors and nurses certainly know how to operate.

Some observers and industry insiders contend this fictional obsession with office flings reflects society--to an extent.

“I don’t think we’re telling America anything America isn’t already doing in mass quantities,” said producer Bruce Helford, whose comedy “The Drew Carey Show” has featured its lead character in an office affair.

“We used to find our mates on blind dates or at parties or somewhere in the community,” says psychologist Dr. Joyce Brothers. “Now the workplace has taken over as the place to meet.”

TV examples abound.

Nurse Hathaway of “ER” chastises a receptionist for playing around with Dr. Greene. Later, Hathaway is caught in a clinch with Dr. Ross. Meanwhile, Dr. Weaver is trysting with the consultant who wants to sell her and the hospital on a management contract.

The “Chicago Hope” staff isn’t quite so busy but is certainly productive: Drs. Kronk and Grad are expecting a baby.

Over at “The Practice,” attorney Bobby Donnell has concluded an affair with one of his partners and moved on to her friend, assistant district attorney Helen Gamble. Before that, he slept with a client he was defending on a murder charge.

Baltimore police Detective Mike Kellerman and coroner Julianna Cox did a little personal investigation on “Homicide: Life on the Street.” Even the staunchly procedural “Law & Order” has allowed Assistant D.A. Jack McCoy flings with lovely peers.

In “Caroline in the City,” the cartoonist-heroine pines for the artist working for her. On “3rd Rock from the Sun,” Sally is flattered by her leering boss’s attentions (she IS an alien), which include chiding her for wearing a bra on casual Friday.

The future is hardly different. That’s according to “Star Trek: Voyager,” whose human and Klingon crew members manage to get it on in outer space.

“The X-Files,” known for bizarre plots, turns out to be the ground-breaker in this area: FBI agents Mulder and Scully spend their time together working, and series creator Chris Carter has vowed their relationship will remain platonic.

Good luck, Mr. Carter.

Television, it’s been observed, is increasingly obsessed with sex. If such fare as “Leave it to Beaver” aired now, we might see a happily married couple like the Cleavers do much more than trade kisses.

But the office has replaced the home as focus in an era of widespread employment for men and women. So that’s where the heart--or the lust--is on TV now.

Some TV characters merely initiate the mating dance at work, while others commit actual workplace whoopee. Some are married; most are single.

But television is not reality, as Brothers notes. Sexual responsibility, including protection against diseases such as AIDS, is rarely part of the story.

And TV also goes overboard on how much physical contact takes place on company turf, “ER’s” overheated staff notwithstanding.

“People pretty much restrain themselves until they’re away from the workplace,” Brothers said. “Years ago, Dr. [Margaret] Mead suggested we have taboos, much like incest taboos, against sexual behavior in the office because there is such temptation.”

“The Drew Carey Show” airs Wednesday at 9 p.m. on ABC.