DeGeneres’ Mother Speaks to Gay Support Group

For 20 years, Betty DeGeneres privately supported her daughter’s lesbian lifestyle, a quiet encouragement that abruptly became public last year when Ellen DeGeneres introduced her sexuality on prime-time television.

“Suddenly, I was coming out too,” DeGeneres, 67, said of the “Ellen” episode in which her daughter, who starred in the now-canceled ABC show, came out as a lesbian both on TV and in real life.

“People were recognizing me on the street as ‘Her mother,’ ” she told 150 guests at a Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays luncheon in Costa Mesa on Sunday. “They’d go, ‘It’s her mother! You’re her mother!’ And of course I’d agree and we didn’t even say her name.”

The positive feedback that followed her daughter’s controversial program prompted DeGeneres to retire as a Los Angeles speech pathologist “to make a difference and open some minds and hearts,” she said.

When a young gay man tearfully approached her shortly after the “Ellen” episode and said he wished someone could talk to his parents for him, DeGeneres said she decided to do just that--only full time.

“Hopefully, I am reaching his and other mothers and fathers out there,” she said. “Hopefully, we are getting through.”

The three-hour luncheon, held to celebrate the chapter’s 20th anniversary, included an emotional slide show and tribute to PFLAG founder Pat Paddock, who said her work with the group has taught her more about dignity and courage than she ever dreamed possible.

“I feel very privileged and proud that . . . I was able to try and make a difference,” Paddock said. “I feel so peaceful now, and that’s what I wish for all of you.”

Not surprisingly, DeGeneres’ keynote speech followed healthy doses of humor, largely from stand-up comedian Elvira Kurt, who drew roars when she described her own mother’s reaction to what she described as her “I’m a lesbian” announcement.

“She, of course, has finally accepted it, but I wouldn’t say she’s ever embraced it,” Kurt said of her mother, who lives in Canada. “When I told her how excited I was to be joining hundreds of people today, people who are drawn together because we all have one thing in common, she said, ‘Yes, miserable mothers.’ ”

Later, Kurt said she planned to get DeGeneres’ autograph before she left.

“Yeah, I have something for her to sign,” Kurt said. “Adoption papers.”

Betty DeGeneres, who last year became the first nongay National Coming Out spokesperson for the Human Rights Commission, said she was honored to participate in the PFLAG celebration.

“I’m very new on this battlefield, but I’ve jumped in the deep end,” DeGeneres said. “I feel good about the progress we’ve made, and you should too. It’s resonating. You do make a difference, and because of it, we are on our way.”