Excuuuse Me, but It Is a Wedding, Not a Day at the Beach
Dear Fashion Police: My girlfriend has invited me to be a bridesmaid at her June wedding. The bridal party met recently to discuss some of the details. We decided upon pale blue dresses, just above the knee, with matching lace-up leather pumps. One of the girls suggested that since the wedding will be outdoors in warm weather, why not go without pantyhose? The rest of the group heartily agreed. Even though I’m in my early 40s (the others are in their early 20s) and still have great legs, I always wear pantyhose with a nice dress and heels and would feel uncomfortable without any on. What should I do?
--BEWILDERED
BRIDESMAID
Dear Bewildered: No pantyhose because it’s an outdoor summer wedding? Whose brilliant idea was that? Why not wear khaki shorts and a T-shirt? Or a bathing suit? Then everyone can hop in the pool after the ceremony.
Even if these early-20s members of the bridal party have those imperfection-free Barbie doll legs, that’s no excuse to go hoseless. Wedding + many bridesmaids in matching dresses = formal occasion. Not backyard barbecue. We vote in favor of pantyhose. However, etiquette dictates that the bride has final say on what her attendants will wear (and I’m sure she won’t have bare legs). Still, the bride should consider the wishes of all her bridesmaids. You could appeal to her, saying you wouldn’t feel comfortable with legs au naturel, and she might acquiesce. And show her a pair of those Donna Karan The Nudes pantyhose. They’re a little pricey, but they’re gorgeous. That might do the trick.
Now, about those blue lace-up leather pumps. . . .
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Dear Fashion Police: Just wondered how you view the spectacle of overweight, thirtysomething hairy-legged men in cutoff pants? Someone in my office wears them to work on “casual Fridays” and swears they’re the look. He wears them with color-coordinated plaid flannel shirts and pocket T-shirts, along with the cliched backward baseball cap. What’s the word--chic or eek?
--SANTA MONICA
SECRETARY
Dear Santa Monica: You work with a fat, hairy guy who wears shorts, flannel shirts and a baseball cap? Is he single?
OK, we won’t ridicule hirsute, flab-challenged men with dubious fashion sense. Not right now, anyway. But this brings up that eternal nagging question: What exactly is appropriate on “casual Fridays”? Every office is different, and it’s really up to management to set the sartorial rules. If this guy’s wardrobe truly bothers you, give positive reinforcement a try. When he wears something nice, compliment him until his ego is sufficiently inflated. If that doesn’t work, toss him a copy of GQ and hope he reads it. But don’t hold your breath. Take it from us--repeat offenders are difficult to rehabilitate.
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From the Fashion Police Blotter: As the slate of Milan / Paris / New York fall fashion shows gets rolling, there is one trend we pray will not appear on the runways: heroin chic. You know the look--models who are made up to look like dissipated, strung-out addicts . . . in phenomenally expensive designer clothes. Although the Fashion Police will be monitoring the collections through high-tech surveillance, we will also count on you, our trusty deputies, to inform us of any egregious violations. It’s time these models stopped looking like crack-house refugees and more like normal women. Well, as normal as can be for someone who’s 6 feet tall and weighs 115 pounds.
* When reporting or preventing a fashion crime, write to Fashion Police, Life & Style, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053, or fax to (213) 237-0732. Submissions cannot be returned. No telephone inquiries, please.
