Initiation Rites

So you’re new to L.A. and wanna be a scenester? Before you can get your wings, you have to endure the appropriate Clubland hazing. Rookies begin here:

Al’s Bar, 305 S. Hewitt St., downtown, (213) 625-9703. Al’s truisms: If you tip, you don’t die; you’re always certain to meet a damaged art child here; those who haven’t survived the bathrooms here can’t move to the next level. 21 and over, cover varies.

Barney’s Beanery, 8447 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, (213) 654-2287. You came looking for “Melrose Place.” You settled for billiards at Barney’s because the place reminds you of the friends you left behind. 21 and over, no cover.

Boardner’s, 1652 Cherokee Ave., Hollywood, (213) 462-9621. Boardner’s bar, hey, wait, we thought it was Patrick Swayze’s “Road House.” 21 and over, cover varies.

Canter’s Deli and the Kibitz Room, 419 N. Fairfax Ave., West Hollywood, (213) 651-2030. There are people who moved to within walking distance of this timeless Fairfax District deli and bar and never hooked up their appliances, content to hang here each night and observe the wonders of SoCal living. An important place to get one’s feet wet on the L.A. cultural journey. All ages, no cover (21 and over in the Kibitz).

Coconut Teaszer, 8117 Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood, (213) 654-4773. The guy down the hall from your apartment put you on the list; you still had to pay. Just another club lesson under your belt. You’re that much closer to snatching the pebble. Age limit and cover vary.

Formosa Cafe, 7156 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, (213) 850-9050. The threat of its demise in the early ‘90s brought this bar in a car (railroad car, that is) back with a vengeance. But before there were lines, the Formosa’s doors would swing open to newcomers and gladly share some ancient L.A. secrets. 21 and over, no cover.

Gladstone’s 4-Fish, 17300 Pacific Coast Highway, Pacific Palisades, (310) 454-3474. This beachfront venue with the peanut shells on the floor always looks the most promising because it’s so dang popular. All good rookies must blow a wad on some fried stuff here. But despite promises of “Baywatch” babes for nighttime fun, the smart crowd drives east on Sunset. All ages, no cover.

McCabe’s, 3101 Pico Blvd., Santa Monica, (310) 828-4497. Cheap tickets and post-show snacks encourage lost souls to venture down to this quaint guitar shop to hear songwriters make some sense of the cold, cruel world around them. 21 and over, cover varies.

Viper Room, 8852 Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood, (310) 358-1880. 1993: It was the best of times/It was the worst of times: Johnny Depp brought the Strip some glam/River Phoenix broke our hearts. Now it’s a must-stop on the rookie tour bus--but always on weekends (no freshmen admitted on “cool” nights). 21 and over, cover varies.