Here’s a Switch: Coach Grating on Rodman

Dennis Rodman was impressed with the New Jersey Nets, to a degree, even though the Chicago Bulls swept them in three games.

However, he was disturbed by Net Coach John Calipari--or whatever his name is.

“They’re a real hard-working team, but they’ve got a lot to learn,” Rodman said. “They’ve got Calamari and--is his name Calamari? Calipari? Calimari? He talks too damn much. Let the kids play. It’s all right to talk, but don’t talk the whole damn game.”

So Rodman has Calipari mixed up with a squid.

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Trivia time: The UCLA men’s track team has a 19-meet winning streak against USC. What is the record in the series?

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Busy man: NBA star Shawn Kemp, who is not married, reportedly has fathered seven children by six women. He has been named in at least one paternity suit.

Comment from Tom FitzGerald in the San Francisco Chronicle: “Maybe it’s fitting that he’s a Cavalier.”

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Tall tales: Jayson Williams of the New Jersey Nets was a guest on the New York Yankees’ TV broadcast Monday night on the MSG network. When Joe Girardi took a borderline pitch for a strike, Williams said:

“It looked high, but it would be low on me.”

Al Trautwig asked: “How tall are you?”

Williams replied, “It’s a contract year for me, so I’m 7 feet.”

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Saving saliva: Longtime baseball executive Gabe Paul, who died last Sunday at 83, was president of the Cleveland Indians when he said of former pitcher Gaylord Perry, “Gaylord is a very honorable man. He only calls for the spitball when he needs it.”

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Twin showdown: Mark Mimbs of Norfolk, Va., beat brother Mike and the Columbus Clippers, 6-5, Wednesday night in what was believed to be the first time twins had opposed each other in organized baseball.

Mark Mimbs (2-1) struck out eight, walked three and gave up five hits. Mike Mimbs (0-1) was tagged for five runs and three hits. He struck out five and walked two in five innings.

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Backup plan: Mike Pegram, owner of about 20 McDonald’s restaurants in Washington state, and several horses, including Kentucky Derby contender Real Quiet, on his expensive avocation:

‘If I run out of money, Happy Meals go up to $2.99.”

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Looking back: On this day in 1939, Lou Gehrig of the New York Yankees didn’t play in the game against Detroit at Briggs Stadium, thus ending his streak of 2,130 consecutive games played.

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How could you? Dan LeBatard, writing in the Miami Herald on Heat center Alonzo Mourning’s being suspended for fighting New York Knick Larry Johnson in the closing seconds of Thursday’s game:

“In a few seconds of profound stupidity, [Mourning] may have thrown away nothing less than his team’s season. Mourning’s contract, worth $12 million, clearly doesn’t have a clause that includes any sense.”

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Trivia answer: USC won 33 consecutive meets from 1934 to 1965. The teams met twice in 1945.

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And finally: Bernie Lincicome, commenting in the Chicago Tribune on the Bulls’ 116-101 series-ending victory over New Jersey last Wednesday:

“The Nets played defense against all the Bulls as if they were prom dates. . . . This was cats playing with a string and a disgraceful way for New Jersey to finish.”