In One Race, It’s Board vs. Bored

Campaign bloopers have been known to cost candidates elections. Gil Eisner of West L.A. hopes he can ride an intentional blooper to victory.

The retired management consultant is putting up posters announcing his candidacy for the “Bored” of Equalization, one of which was spotted by Tom and Ed Alvarez (see photo).

Eisner explained, “I’m bored with the Board of Equalization and want to bring it out of the Stone Age.” And, he said, “I wanted to put a smile on people’s faces. I figure they’ll think I’m either very clever or very dumb.”

The placard also lists his last name--and last name only--four times to connote Disney boss Michael Eisner in a tongue-in-cheek manner.

His printer was initially reluctant to create the poster. “You really want to do it this way?” Eisner was asked. Told that the “Bored” error was intentional, the printer said, “Oh well--at least my name’s not on the poster.”

WILL THE DEVIL ASK FOR EQUAL TIME? On the eve of Tuesday’s election, Don Durkee of Downey came upon a church marquee that is taking a stand on a cosmic ballot proposition (see photo).

TEN-FOUR: A friend of mine overheard two paramedics chatting in a Goleta hospital.

“So,” asked one, “when you getting married?”

“9-11,” said the other, referring to the month and day, which, of course, also corresponds to the emergency phone number.

The groom-to-be added that he had suggested “9-11-00” to his intended but, he said, “she wanted 9-11-98.”

LEGACY OF O.J.? Fred Tuck was observing a trial in the Roybal Federal Building downtown when he noticed a small, round, red-and-white sticker affixed to the lectern where the attorneys stand to make their pleadings.

The sticker referred to a lawyerly practice that caused numerous delays in the Simpson criminal trial. It said: “NO SIDEBARS.”

ONE TRAFFIC DISASTER THAT WAS REPAIRABLE: Well, that 10-story-tall, traffic-stopping banner, which depicted the hole made by a fiery meteorite plunging through a glass skyscraper, has been removed from the side of a West L.A. building.

It was a poster for “Armageddon.” But Lynette O’Brien wrote that her initial reaction “was to identify it with all the ‘Godzilla’ billboards . . . you know, his tail is this long, his eye is this big, etc., etc. All I could think of was, ‘HOW big is his golf ball?’ ”

NOW FOR A MUSICAL DERAILMENT: The mention here of Duke Ellington’s “Take the ‘A’ Train” caused writer Lee Harris to recall a boo-boo he once heard the late band leader Lawrence Welk make. It was the time Welk introduced the Duke’s signature song as “Take a Train.”

L.A. INSULT OF THE DAY: Comic Jerry Seinfeld told Rolling Stone magazine that he intends to live in New York now instead of L.A. Explained Seinfeld: “I always say Los Angeles is like Vegas, except the losers stay in town.”

That’s it--I’m boycotting the final episode of his TV show.

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“I think my 5-year-old daughter, Erin, has been watching too many public TV pledge breaks,” relates Alan Coles of Long Beach. “I overheard her asking a friend, ‘Do you watch Nickelodeon or member-supported KCET?’ ”

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Reader-supported Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.