Who Influences Teens the Most?

“The Nature Assumption,” a controversial new book by Judith Rich Harris, stirs up a perennial debate: Who wields the greater influence on children--parents or peers? Harris, honored for her research by the American Psychological Assn., contends that it’s peers, not parents, who have the greater impact on children’s personalities. According to Harris, once parents contribute their genes, their contribution is about done. It’s the environment outside of the home, she argues, that af fects children the most. Teens shared their views with MARY REESE BOYKIN.

CESAR PICHARDO

19, Los Angeles

Basically, whether parents or peers have more influence depends on the age of the child. Starting as early as age 12--and for some kids at least by 14--friends definitely have more influence than parents. Kids want to do what their friends are doing, whether it’s good or bad.

Because some kids want to be like their peers, they get involved in things that are not right according to the law or the Scriptures. That happened to me.

With a friend, I broke into a car and was placed on probation. The terms of my probation were that I attend classes and counseling. When I did neither, I ended up for two weekend stays at juvenile hall. Being in juvenile hall made me really look at how my life was going.

By the grace of God, I straightened out my life, thanks to my parents, who kept praying for me and didn’t turn their backs on me. I am completing my GED, but I regret not graduating from high school. I learned the hard way to listen to my parents.

JONDOLON BUSH

17, freshman, Cal State Fullerton

My mother is a single parent. In my early teens, there were several times when she put her foot down. “Jondolon,” she would say, “that person is not acceptable for you to be around. If he goes down, you sink with the ship. The world is too crazy for you to be with just anybody. You have to select your friends carefully.” Before long, I chose friends whose values were similar to mine. My friends don’t participate in violence, use drugs or foul language. We go out and have fun, clean fellowship.

What made me listen to my mom is the strong mother-son bond we’ve had since my early childhood and my respect for the struggles she has gone through. She’s kept me in the church. I love her and trust her.

To this day, my mom’s influence means more than any influence that my friends can provide.

APRIL WALTER

17, senior, King/Drew Medical Magnet

Iam influenced by both my parents and peers. My parents influence me to study, to make good grades. They let me know that they want me to try to reach my goals, even if I fall short. They always show me that they care. Things like drugs or violence aren’t even issues; my parents made it clear years ago that behavior involving either was not going to be tolerated.

My friends come from families like mine who care a lot, too. We are a big support group. If one of us is struggling with something, the others help.

We participate in many career-oriented activities together. We study, volunteer to clean up the beach, help at the Youth Task Force of Los Angeles’ Halloween, Easter and Christmas parties for underprivileged children.

I know that there are some teens who come from homes where the parents don’t care whether they go to school, as long as the kids leave the house. There are some parents who involve themselves in ridiculous behavior, smoking marijuana with their kids as if it is a family activity. That’s scary.

But I feel fortunate to be part of a family that wants me to go far in life; the influence of my parents and peers overlap.

JACOB KAPLAN

16, junior, Redondo Union High School

My dad passed away about a year ago. I did everything with him. I enjoy doing things with my mom, too. She even takes me to the batting cage.

But I love to hang out with my friends. I seek their advice. They’re honest with me.

Your friends give you more confidence. Say you’re playing pool and someone threatens you. You feel safer because you are with your friends.

But I don’t let my friends ask too much of me. They don’t influence me negatively about school. I know what I want to accomplish. I know that I have to maintain a grade-point average good enough to get a scholarship.

SHARIF PAXTON

19, sophomore, Long Beach City College

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I have many influences: my parents, peers, coaches, friends’ parents, the public. But I make my own decisions because I don’t want to get caught up behind someone’s else decision.

I announce my goals to many people. In August, I won second place in the 110-meter hurdles, representing the USA, in the World Junior Championships in Track and Field in Annecy, France.

My philosophy is that you have to be careful who you let motivate you. Only you can determine how far you want to go.