‘Fool’: Marriage Not Made in Heaven

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the joining of this man and this woman in holy matrimony.

“Walter Matthau and Carol Burnett have come before you all to be united in CBS’ Sunday night movie, ‘The Marriage Fool.’ If anyone here can show why they should not, let him speak now or forever hold his peace. . . .”

. . .

“Um, excuse me. I feel compelled to speak.”

“And who are you?”

“Just an observer, but I feel that what I have to say should be taken into consideration.”

“Very well. Proceed.”

“Thank you. Well, basically, I feel that they can do better. Not better than one another, mind you. Heavens no. Walter Matthau and Carol Burnett are two of America’s most talented and best loved stars, and I would enjoy nothing more than to see them together in a movie. This particular project isn’t all that I would have wished for, however. Oh, it’s pleasant enough--filled with bright little pronouncements about love and marriage. But it’s all so predictable, so safe, so bland.

“The story focuses on a father and a son with romance problems. The father (Matthau) has just buried his beloved wife of 41 years and, though he wants to remain true to her, realizes that he’s the sort of guy who just needs to be married. Meanwhile, he’s urging his Casanova of a son (John Stamos of ‘Full House’)--the only of three adult sons not yet married--to settle down, too.

“There’s never much doubt about what will happen once Matthau meets Burnett and Stamos meets the beguiling Teri Polo. Richard Vetere’s script leaves viewers guessing about too many of the details, however. What is it that attracts each lover to the other? We see too little development of the relationships, particularly Matthau and Burnett’s. Director Charles Matthau (Walter’s son) moves the story along effectively enough, but his work rarely rises above the workmanlike.

“The elder Matthau projects a shlump-like hangdog charm (as always), and Burnett is compelling as a vivacious woman who’s a Rock of Gibraltar, even if her flamboyance tends to put people off. Stamos projects genuine fondness in his scenes with Matthau, and he uses his dimpled smile to swooning effect in his scenes with Polo.

“So, overall I would say: Good performances, not-so-good material. I guess that’s all.”

“And what would you have us do? Call the whole thing off?”

“Well, no, it’s a little late for that, I guess. Good luck, Walter and Carol. But next time, demand better for yourselves.”

* “The Marriage Fool” airs Sunday at 9 p.m. on CBS (Channel 2). The network has rated it TV-PG (some material may be unsuitable for younger children).