Divorce Stigma Fades for Taiwan Women

He was a typical Taiwanese husband, his embittered wife said. He spent her money, dined out every night and left her alone with the kids.

“He treated his buddies like his own blood and muscle and his wife as if she was just a piece of clothing,” said Ho Tse-suan.

Ho, a 43-year-old accountant, chose what was once a rare solution to this common complaint. Despite courts that still favor men when it comes to property and child custody, she chose divorce.

Until recently, divorce was hardly an option for women in Taiwan. In traditional Chinese societies, only men could disown their wives--for adultery or failure to give birth to male heirs. Divorced women were outcasts who spent the rest of their lives in disgrace, if not poverty.

But as Taiwanese women gain education, economic clout and the self-confidence from taking part in their land’s economic boom, the stigma is fading. Increasingly, women are opting for divorce instead of staying with men who abuse them or have affairs.

Twenty years ago, just one in 17 marriages in Taiwan ended in divorce. Now the figure is one of the highest in Asia--one divorce for every 4.3 marriages. Women like Ho are even going on a popular TV show called “True Love” to warn their younger sisters about the pitfalls of marriage--and to search for new spouses.

Although there are no statistics on the sex of those who initiate divorces, women are noticeably taking action. Lee Hsiu-yen, a divorce counselor, estimates about 40% of divorces are filed by women. Twenty years ago, almost none were.

Economic independence has done more than anything else to raise the status of women, said Wang Yu-pao, a member of the feminist group Women’s Awakening.

Taiwanese women account for 40% of the work force and on average earn about 70% of what a man does--far above the Asian average of 30%.

Wang said most women who seek divorce do so as a last resort. “Many divorced after having tolerated their husbands’ physical abuses or affairs for 20 or 30 years,” she said.

Some men are feeling threatened.

“Women are a lot different today. They have stronger will,” said Chou Ching-chun, a 52-year-old salesman.

He chuckled and added that he “dared not oppose” the changes. But he looks back fondly on the days when “men’s words were absolute, and women listened.”

Men do have options, though.

There are plenty of culturally conservative women. Hsu Ying, an economics professor at Chunghsing University, said some still abort girl fetuses, preferring boys to carry the family name and deny their husbands excuses for a divorce.

Prospective husbands also are benefiting from increasing business and personal contacts with mainland China. The Communist revolution guaranteed equality of the sexes there, but many mainland women are willing to give that up to marry a prosperous Taiwanese.

Ho Mei-shiang, a producer of “True Love,” said fewer men sign up for the TV program because they can remarry more easily, are less likely to sit still for criticism and are reluctant to share their experience.

However, women are eager to tell their stories so others don’t make the same mistakes.