Can Bad Altitude Lead to Crime?

At a police-community meeting in Van Nuys, one resident suggested an unusual theory about law and order. She asked: “Has the LAPD ever done a study to see if there’s a correlation between crime and airport noise?” It wasn’t clear whether she meant noise-crazed residents running amok or car thieves waiting until jets were overhead so the sound would drown out car alarms.

LOVE CONNECTION: During a visit to the L.A. Visitors Bureau, Peter Zovak of Temple City was surprised to see the name and nature of an exhibit at the Richard Nixon Library (see accompanying). “It looks like all Republicans, whether alive or not, are trying to sock it to President Clinton,” he said.

But, Zovak noted, at least the title isn’t “Husbands, Wives and Interns in the White House.”

MORE TROUBLE FOR THE WHITE HOUSE: “As someone who reads both your column and the list of restaurant closures agonistically, if not religiously, and finds at least one of those to be a gold mine of humor,” writes Robert Kropp of Eagle Rock, “let me be between the first and 127th to point this out: An L.A. restaurant named White House was closed for three days in August because of a ‘failure to prevent entrance and harboring of vermin.’ ”

So recorded.

1998 VINTAGE? Dan Fink noticed that a building on the always fashionable Westside bore a sticker on a pipe indicating the type of water served there (see photo).

ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY: Forty-four years ago, The Times said that police received a report of the theft of a “rare and valuable pair of multiple-colored earrings made of chicken toenails” from an automobile in--where else?--Hollywood.

POMONA FARE: In the apparently endless discussion of movie references to Pomona, Karen Norman and Michael Sanchez couldn’t believe that I’d forgotten a line in the movie “Die Hard.”

A just-arrived Bruce Willis is asked by ex-wife Bonnie Bedelia where he’s going to stay. He replies he’s bunking with a friend “in Ramona, I think.” Bedelia laughs and says, “You mean Pomona.”

Added Norman: “I always thought that was a super-sly reference that only Southern Californians would get, in that there is a town called Ramona. I think it’s near Rubberside [a friend once showed me a piece of junk mail addressed to him there].”

Sorry to drag you into this, Rubberside.

HOW TO ADDRESS A COLLEGE CROWD: Marty Rauch of West L.A. notes that when UCLA and Texas played at the Rose Bowl during the recent heat wave, “the public address announcer urged spectators at least three times to ‘hydrate’ themselves and to ‘avoid diuretic drinks.’ ”

If it had been a Raiders game, the announcer would have said, “Hey, blockheads, you hot? Yeah, big surprise! Well, I got an idea! Why don’t you take a swig of something! And, believe it or not, I don’t mean booze!”

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In his new book, “All Gone: Things That Aren’t There Anymore,” author David Seidman of West Hollywood points out that the fine craftsmanship of the Duesenberg automobile earlier this century gave birth to the phrase, “It’s a doozy” (meaning something outstanding). Of course, if you’ve never heard the phrase, “It’s a doozy,” this item will mean absolutely nothing to you.