Did They Fire Up Cuban Cigars to Celebrate Coups?

Art Thiel of the Seattle Post-Intelligencer on last Sunday’s game between the Baltimore Orioles and the Cuban All-Stars:

“Sitting side by side at the game in Havana were Fidel Castro, who hijacked a nation in 1959, and baseball Commissioner Bud Selig, the used-car salesman who hijacked the Seattle Pilots in 1970.

“Have there ever been two men who have ascended so dubiously, accomplished so little and stayed in power so long?”

(Note: the Pilots are now the Milwaukee Brewers.)

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Trivia time: Who are the only Lakers to have worn the numeral 0?

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Blasphemy: Point guard God Shammgod, who was a star player for Providence in the 1997 NCAA tournament, left school after his sophomore year to turn pro.

He was drafted by Washington in the second round in 1997, spent a year on the bench and was cut before this season.

He’s now listed as “inactive” on the roster of the Continental Basketball Assn.’s La Crosse (Wis.) Bobcats.

A story about him in P.O.V. magazine had this advice for players considering turning pro early: “Don’t follow God.”

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Possibility: If Ken Griffey Jr. plays 10 more seasons, he has a good chance to break Hank Aaron’s home run record of 755, in the view of Seattle Manager Lou Piniella.

“Junior’s got 350,” Piniella said. “He’s basically halfway there.”

Griffey, 29, has hit 56 homers each of the last two seasons.

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Boys will be boys: Ron Rapoport in the Chicago Sun-Times: “The Rupert Murdoch-Ted Turner feud is getting awfully silly. Sports Business Daily points out that on Sunday’s episode of ‘The Simpsons’ on Fox, a sign read, ‘Welcome to Atlanta--Home of Ted Turner’s Mood Swings.’ ”

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Not a clue: A woman who allegedly wrote term papers for the Minnesota players “apparently got bored with the standard stuff and started writing about subjects that interested her, including PMS,” says Tony Kornheiser in ESPN magazine.

“Can you imagine the poor guy who mailed that one in? He probably thought PMS was a conference with an automatic NCAA bid.”

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Small handy-guy: From the Morning Line column in the Dallas Morning News: “[Texas running back] Ricky Williams had the smallest hands--less than eight inches from his palm to the tip of his middle finger--at the NFL scouting combine.

“Why should that matter? So he fumbled 26 times. He made up for it with more than 6,200 yards. By the way, The Line wonders if small hands will prevent him from spiking the ball every time he scores a touchdown.”

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Two out of three falls? Former Iowa wrestling coach Dan Gable was not pleased when he was passed over as coach of the United States 2000 Olympic team by USA Wrestling, the governing body that instead chose Oklahoma State’s John Smith and Lehigh’s Greg Strobel to guide the squad.

“I just don’t like politics,” Gable said. “When it’s settled on the mat, I’ve always been successful. When it’s settled off the mat, I don’t win very often.”

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Give the points: Steve Rosenbloom in the Chicago Tribune: “Writer Argus Hamilton, on Ivy League-educated Bears’ Chairman Mike McCaskey making landscaping decisions at the new Halas Hall:

“ ‘The early betting line in Vegas has the crab grass as a four-touchdown favorite.’ ”

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Trivia answer: Jerry Chambers and Orlando Woolridge.

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And finally: Jim Armstrong in the Denver Post: “Knock, knock, knockin’ on heaven’s door. The farthest seat from the court at the Final Four was a record 285 feet.

“But that’s nothing. It will be 308 feet in 2005, when they tip off the national championship game in the TransWorld Dome in St. Louis.”