LAUGH LINES

Hold Your Fire: The Rev. Jesse Jackson is heading to Yugoslavia on a peace mission. “He said he would have gone sooner but he was having trouble coming up with a word that rhymes with Milosevic.” (Jay Leno)

We Couldn’t Resist: U.S. nuclear facilities have reportedly lost track of 5,000 pounds of plutonium. “How can you lose 5,000 pounds? Lots of exercise and eating right.” (Daily Scoop)

They Scored: Last week was the annual observance of Take Our Daughters to Work Day. “I guess members of the L.A. Clippers brought their daughters to work, and the girls beat them 95-87.” (Leno)

Sounds of Silence: A recent USA Today article asked, “Is Rock Music Dead?” “No, it’s probably just in a coma from too many drugs.” (Scottie Baran)

*

The Essential

David Letterman

Horses least likely to win the Kentucky Derby:

10. Future Glue.

9. Sen~or Sleepy.

8. Parts on Order.

6. Two Fat Guys in a Horse Costume.

5. Pothole Dancer.

4. Two-Legged Pierre.

2. Kevorkian’s Delight.

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.