Not Even First Ladies Can Keep Secrets Anymore

We are getting to know more about our presidents’ personal lives than we want to. Even first ladies are spilling the beans on their husbands, as we have just seen with Hillary Clinton in Talk magazine.

This bodes ill for future presidential candidates who might have problems that in the past were kept in a White House broom closet.

“Mrs. Dumbarton, what is the weirdest thing that happened to your husband in his youth?”

“When he was a boy, he always had fights with his sister. Since she was much stronger than he was, he had to be taken to the hospital for stitches on his lips. This made him do stupid things when he grew up.”

“Mrs. Dumbarton, the country seems to be in excellent economic shape right now. Does this have anything to do with trips he made to Las Vegas casinos?”

“I knew about the trips, but I felt as long as the country had a budget surplus, the president had a right to go where he wanted to.”

“Can we talk about White House interns?”

“The White House intern is the key to a strong presidential administration. In order to function properly interns must have the freedom to go into the Oval Office any time they choose to find out how the government works.”

“Has the president ever professed a desire to watch X-rated movies on Air Force One?”

“No. It’s disgusting what the newspapers are writing about him. I know him better than anybody, and he is a normal person whose only obsession is to save the Social Security system. If that is kinky, let the voter make the most of it.”

“Why are people more interested in the president’s sex life than they are in his Medicare programs?” I asked her.

“Because the media just keep after him. When my husband was sworn in as president the first question he was asked after his inaugural address was, ‘Any female lawsuits we should know about?’ How can anyone run a country when every woman claims the president was in love with her?”