St.Clair Returns to Adoring Fans After Loss of Son

Symphony patrons embraced Carl St.Clair with a storm of applause Saturday night, as the music director stepped to the podium to conduct the Pacific Symphony Orchestra for the first time since the death of his only child.

“I knew when the music started, I’d be a lot better,” St.Clair said after the orchestra finished the inspirational song Olympic Fanfare by composer John Williams.

The conductor’s 18-month-old son, Cole, drowned in a neighbor’s pool in July after his wife, Susan St.Clair, lost consciousness during a diabetic seizure. Saturday’s concert was a tribute to Cole.

Susan St.Clair was in the audience during Saturday’s performance, joined by her family and Cindy Soto, the mother of a 4-year-old girl killed in May when a distraught man rammed a Cadillac into the playground of a Costa Mesa preschool.

The two grieving families met at a mausoleum where their children were interred.

“Carl is kind of dedicating this concert to the spirit of children,” said Mark Cunningham, Susan St.Clair’s brother, one of six of her siblings to attend Saturday night’s tribute to Cole.

“We’re doing pretty good,” Cunningham said. “There’s too much love to stop our progress and just being alive. And Cole wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.”

And there was plenty of love Saturday night. When St.Clair walked on stage, more than 10,000 people at the Irvine Meadows Amphitheatre rose to their feet, applauding. St.Clair bowed twice, then crossed his arms over his chest.

“It’s just like Carl said, you put one foot in front of the other, and that’s what we’re doing,” Cunningham said. “Cole had so--I don’t know how to explain it. Cole had spirit, and you have to embrace and hold on to that. That will sustain our family.”

Carl St.Clair had planned to take a break from his duties as music director, at least through the end of the summer season. But after serving as a guest conductor for a symphony in Germany, he decided to return for Saturday’s concert featuring the uplifting music of Williams, the composer famous for his scores of adventure films including “Star Wars,” “Superman” and “Raiders of the Lost Ark.”

St.Clair told the audience the music was a fitting tribute to the busy little boy who was so wide-eyed and curious. Williams’ music “captures so vividly the many emotions experienced by mankind, from exaltation to the deepest sorrow,” St.Clair said.

St.Clair’s first rehearsal since the tragedy was on Thursday.

“At first there was a lot of tension for us,” said Geri Rotella of Agoura, a flutist in the orchestra. “But he came out and just thanked us for being part of his family.”

She said music is rich therapy: “He told us that his hands could still go on.”

That was a blessing for many of St.Clair’s fans, who flocked to Irvine Meadows to welcome him back and to enjoy a picnic in the park before the concert.

“Getting back to things that are normal keeps your life in order when recovering from any kind of tragedy,” said Margie Potechin of Los Alamitos.

Her friend, Bev Marshall of Fountain Valley, said St.Clair has long been an inspiration. The women have had season tickets to the symphony for four or five years.

“He’s a big reason why we come to these concerts,” Marshall said. “We like him so much. He gives back so much that is positive. And you can really tell he loves what he does.”

As of midday Friday, ticket sales were 130% of what the symphony had set as a goal for Saturday’s concert. Many of the tickets were sold late last week, after news stories appeared telling of St.Clair’s plans to return.

“I think that might have gotten some people out who wouldn’t have otherwise come,” said Retha Roberts of Tustin. “They’ve come to show support and encouragement. We had been planning to come even before we found out that St.Clair would be back. But after reading the article, I’ve been excited all day. I thought the concert would be pretty moving.”

In Saturday night’s playbill, St.Clair wrote about how Cole was “a source of joy and light to us and everyone who knew him. . . . My wife Susan and I would like this evening’s concert to celebrate all children who are once again angels looking tenderly upon us.”

There will be one more concert of the summer series, on Sept. 18, conducted by Barry Jekowsky and featuring pianist Ilya Itin.

Contributions to the Cole Carsan St.Clair Memorial Fund, which will benefit the educational programs of the Pacific Symphony, can be mailed to 1231 E. Dyer Road, Suite 200, Santa Ana, CA 92705.