Tenuta Puts On an Act

Fans of comedian Judy Tenuta can expect something a little different from her at the Coach House in San Juan Capistrano on Friday night.

The self-proclaimed Love Goddess and Aphrodite of the Accordion is bringing a piano player with her for a show that her publicist describes as “cutting-edge cabaret.”

But don’t get the wrong idea.

“Yes, I’m going to have Joel Grey popping out and Liza Minnelli,” Tenuta said with sarcasm, taken aback by the term “cabaret” being attached to her act. “Yeah, there’s going to be some singing, but it’s not normal. I’m not normal. Cabaret, to me, suggests a very relaxed kind of Rosemary Clooney sitting there. That’s not me at all. First of all, I’m a comedian, so hello! I’m not going to be relaxed. As you know, I’m a hyper goddess. I’m just going to be very excited.”

Tenuta said her singing, with piano accompaniment, actually amounts to a few songs of her own composition plus bits and pieces of other songs--all for comedic purposes, naturally.

And she’s looking forward to her Coach House gig.

“I love coming to San Juan Capistrano,” Tenuta said, her voice lowering into a trademark growl, “especially the way my stud muffins sit there and order a side of beef while they’re waiting for me to come on.”

Tenuta was speaking from her home in Sherman Oaks, a Tudor-style house she and Christopher Brown, her boyfriend of six years--moved into in 1996.

Even at an early hour--9 a.m.--Tenuta’s wit and gift for ad-libbing in character are as sharp as ever. But she seemed a bit more subdued--dare we say normal?--than in past telephonic exchanges. At more than one point during the interview, she failed to stifle a highly audible yawn.

Not that the Duchess of Discipline had been prematurely aroused from slumber after a late night at a comedy club. These days she’s normally up by 7, she said.

She has drastically curtailed her work in comedy clubs in recent years, having grown tired of life on the road. She now performs only when and where she wants. She and piano player Greg Glienna did only two shows in October--one in Houston and one in Seattle.

Tenuta has known Glienna, a fellow stand-up comic, since their days in Chicago in the mid-’80s. But Glienna, who also serves as her opening act, is more than a piano player, Tenuta said.

He wrote and directed “Desperation Boulevard,” a romantic comedy film in which Tenuta plays the lead role as a former child star of a ‘60s sitcom who is trying to make a comeback.

“She’ll do anything to get there,” Tenuta said of film character. “Her manager tells her the way to get ahead is through publicity and he talks her into ridiculous publicity stunts.”

The film, which was shot about a year and a half ago, was screened for the first time in October at the Directors Guild in Hollywood, followed by a showing at the Screening Room in New York City as part of the Women in Comedy Festival.

It’s Tenuta’s first leading movie role, after playing several small parts.

Tenuta said Erin Moran (Joanie Cunningham from “Happy Days”) plays her nemesis, and Michael Lerner plays her manager. The movie also features cameos by “Weird Al” Yankovic, Emo Phillips, Downtown Julie Brown, Dana Plato (from “Diff’rent Strokes”--”Unfortunately her last film, and she was such a sweetheart”) Burt Ward (Robin from TV’s “Batman”) and Ken Osmond (Eddie Haskell on “Leave It to Beaver”).

“It’s a very good film,” said Tenuta, whose experiences dealing with Hollywood casting directors helped inspire the script. “We’ve gotten a great response [from audiences]. They always laugh.”

They’re still looking for a distributor, however.

“I’m not Cecil B. DeMille’s daughter,” said Tenuta. “I’ve gotta get some pig behind this.”

Tenuta yawned. Then, changing the subject, she suddenly cried, “Oh, my God! I’ve gained 3 pounds since Thanksgiving! I’m a big sea cow. . . . Are you writing that down, you piggy?”

Tenuta, who visited her mother in Chicago for Thanksgiving, said she thought she had actually lost weight until she looked at the scale that morning.

“It’s like these people that go on those--ahem--’muscle training programs.’ [They say], ‘Oh, I used to weigh 120 and now I weigh 150 and it’s all muscle.’ ‘No, pig, you’re 30 pounds heavier. Don’t listen to this crap that muscle weighs more. You’re fatter!’ ”

To make matters worse, Tenuta had just learned that she made Mr. Blackwell’s Worst Dressed List for wearing a leopard lame print pantsuit with a black velvet cape: “Hello, I’m a comedian; I’m not trying to be Cindy Crawford!”

Finally, the interview draws to a close.

“Thank you, studsicle,” growled the Love Goddess. “Byeee.”

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Judy Tenuta will perform at the Coach House, 33157 Camino Capistrano, San Juan Capistrano. 8 p.m. Friday. $17.50. (949) 496-8930.