A consumer’s guide to the best and worst of sports media and merchandise. Ground rules: If it can be read, played, heard, observed, worn, viewed, dialed or downloaded, it’s in play here.

What: “NBA Courtside 2 featuring Kobe Bryant” for the Nintendo 64 game system.

Price: $59.95

How good is this game? The first time I tried it, I controlled the Lakers, playing against the Utah Jazz. Shaq finished with 29 points, 15 rebounds. He also made four of 13 free throws. Oh, and for the entire game, a computer-animated Phil Jackson sat on the Laker bench, barely stirring from what seemed to be blissful meditation. Just like real life.

Simply put, this is the finest basketball game ever made for any video game system. It features:

* High-resolution graphics.

* A create-a-player option.

* Explosive dunks and no-look passes among its hundreds of moves.

* Multiple game-play modes: Exhibition, arcade, three-point contest and multiple-length season.

* Compatibility for one to four players.

* Play-by-play by Chick Hearn and Stu Lantz. Chick identifies every player correctly in this game, so they don’t have it quite right.

You have to know what you’re doing to succeed in Kobe 2. You may not have to run the offense to perfection to score, but you have to get open shots because your guys won’t score with defenders draped all over them.

The game has many complex offensive sets built into it, including an easy give-and-go system and a backdoor-cut control mechanism. When you use Kobe Bryant himself, you’ll see more outlandish, semi-legal moves than you thought possible. And you can also see what Kobe looks like when he passes the ball, something rarely seen in real life.

The arcade mode is a wonderful addition. There are no silly rules or fatigue to get in your way, the overall speed of the game is bumped up and there are many ways to score.

The big flashing five-, 10- and 15-point icons on the court are right out of an MTV Rock ‘n’ Jock Jam special. However, the probability of the shot going in is still governed by the defensive pressure and distance from the hoop.

The artificial intelligence is so good, it’s almost scary. One of the drawbacks of most basketball games is that gamers can quickly find cheesy ways to score. Forcing it inside to a big guy like Shaq, or shooting threes with someone like Glen Rice over and over again will only work in Kobe 2 if those guys are open and playing well. Defenses react much quicker and often anticipate your offensive strategy, so you’ll have to pay attention and create other opportunities.

Plus, you don’t have to pay $12 to park, or walk a mile to get to the arena. So please, don’t go outside and enjoy life. That’s highly overrated. Open a bag of Cheetos, grab a soda, turn on your TV and exercise your thumb.