Of Course, NBC and IOC Have a Lot in Common

The high points, low points and ticklish talking points of the weekend that was:

Yessss! NBC Sports is where it’s at these days for fun, forgiveness and general weirdness.

The moral of the story? Consort with the high-fliers and party people of the International Olympic Committee at your own risk. Arrogance and assorted scandal seems to rub off on whatever they touch.

Let’s do a quick recap of recent developments at the old peacock network:

* Notre Dame, NBC’s only significant football property, is hit with its first major NCAA penalty, which won’t take the Fighting Irish off the NBC schedule next fall, but blows a hole in the sense that this is a special program with a special place in the hearts of America.

* The IOC, which is basically a joint operation with NBC, since the network is underwriting it deep into the next century, struggles along, scarred by the site-bid bribery scandal and fooling few with its halfhearted efforts at reform.

The IOC’s top defender? NBC President Dick Ebersol, who, surprise (!) happens to be a member of its new reform committee. (First order of business: Why can’t Jay Leno light the torch at Sydney?)

* The network, in an NBA ratings plunge, announces the future return of Marv Albert, whose mammoth broadcasting talents are matched only by the infamy of his not-that-long-ago sexual-assault trial and guilty plea.

* Bob Costas gladly hands back the main NBA anchoring duties to Albert, scales back his NBC duties and plans a much-anticipated sports-issue series, modeled in part after “Nightline,” for . . . HBO.

* Dick Enberg is reportedly set to end his long career at NBC to move to CBS. You could guess that he’s less interested in NBC’s Notre Dame-NASCAR fixation than in actually broadcasting an NFL playoff game or being involved in the NCAA tournament.

There really is only one magic move left for such a wonderful operation, only one NBC decision that could top all of the above: O.J. Simpson, welcome home!

THE BIG PICTURE

So things are fixed now at the IOC?

Toss out a handful of blatant bad apples, offer up some reforms that sound OK but hardly like cure-alls, add some athletes to the membership, march to Washington (in part to cut off ornery Justice Department lawyers threatening indictments) and let President Juan Antonio Samaranch explain that it will all be fine if you just let the superior people of the IOC take care of it . . .

So that takes care of the shakedowns, shady deals and general corruption? One fell swoop, all gone?

“We have cleaned the house,” Samaranch said.

But he remains president, and it was on his watch that the Olympics went up for sale.

But all of the top cronies remain locked in place, and they were the ones who looked on blindly while others held auctions for their site-selection votes.

But the IOC hasn’t quite banned gift-giving from bidding cities, which of course, it’ll get around to any day now.

Can you have real reform when the system that produced the corruption remains stodgily intact?

All this has been done too shrewdly, with too much unctuous calculation--is there any doubt that the IOC only reacted when the U.S. corporate cash supply was threatened by the scandal--to feel genuine.

Actually, Washington was the right place for Samaranch’s performance, which was pure schmooze politics, for the benefit of special interests, and probably signifying very little.

WEEKEND TALKING POINTS

1. Bill Clinton-David Falk summit at Washington Wizard game: One of them was thinking that he’s the most powerful man in the world, the other one was the president.

2. Lakers, best record in the league: Scary thought for NBA--How good would they be if they had Charles Oakley or Scottie Pippen?

3. Notre Dame’s first major rules violations: But NCAA won’t ban them from bowls; having Bob Davie around serves the same purpose.

4. Ken Griffey Jr. rejects Mets: Griffey and Mike Piazza on same team would be moody, mighty Generation X overload.

5. Antawn Jamison and Jerry Stackhouse graduate from North Carolina: Took five-plus years to complete their degrees. Who says basketball players aren’t like regular college students?

6. Davis Cup: Pete Sampras and Andre Agassi vs. Zimbabwe? U.S. team is so good, their girlfriends could advance them through first round.

7. Jose Canseco, Greg Vaughn, Fred McGriff, Vinny Castilla: Devil Rays have put together a $40-million slow-pitch softball team.

8. Allen Iverson’s trade request: He needs a more open system, since 76er Coach Larry Brown is limiting him to 35 shots a game.

9. UCLA 76, DePaul 58: You can criticize Steve Lavin for a lot of things, but his Bruins almost always play their best after a clunker.

10. Dodgers bring back Orel Hershiser, Derrick Hall: Hershiser is a natural to oversee the public-relations and broadcast operations. So Hall’s the fifth starter?

LEADING QUESTIONS

What was crazier on this “Any Given Sunday” . . .

Watching Koy Detmer, Tony Banks, Cade McNown and Ray Lucas quarterback teams to victory on a single Sunday?

Or watching George Seifert coach the Carolina Panthers to a season sweep over the 49ers, his old team, though it no longer seems to have any relation to the dynasty he helped consolidate?

Or wondering if Rae Carruth, Cecil Collins and Dimitrius Underwood’s sad and scary problems are symptomatic of deeper troubles in the league--or just three disturbed humans who happen to play football and happen to have wandered awry all at once?

Could Oliver Stone be onto something here?