He Briefly Knew What It Felt Like to Wear Boxer Shorts

Venturing where no sportswriter should ever go, England’s Ian Stafford stepped into the ring with Roy Jones Jr., the light-heavyweight champion of the world.

Why?

“I was intrigued to know what it was really like to feel the nerves of a pre-fight boxer,” Stafford wrote in the British edition of Esquire magazine, “to be hit, over and over again, and to withstand the pressure.”

He found out soon enough. As the bout drew near, Stafford said he “felt sick, sick with nerves, sick with anger, and sick with utter desperation.”

After somehow managing to stay on his feet for three rounds, a battered and bloodied Stafford felt much worse, but there was some consolation.

First, Jones praised Stafford’s nerve and courage for even attempting the challenge and, second, there will be no rematch.

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Trivia time: Whose Stanley Cup ring and game jersey have gone into orbit on the space shuttle?

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By a thread: The Miami Herald asked Dolphin defensive end Trace Armstrong who the worst-dressed players on the team are.

“The worst, absolutely, definitely, is [linebacker] Zach Thomas,” Armstrong said. “He’s kind of got that mall-rat-meets- hip-hop-gangsta-look going.”

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What are the odds? Shortstop Ricky Gutierrez, who this week joined the Chicago Cubs, hit .261 in each of the last three seasons with the Houston Astros.

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That bad, huh? Thurman Thomas doesn’t often lose his temper with his fellow Buffalo Bills, but the running back blasted them after an indifferent first half against the Arizona Cardinals.

The Bills picked up their game and won. Buffalo Coach Wade Phillips was asked what Thomas had said.

“You don’t want the exact words,” Phillips replied.

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Only a minor spat: The NFL has decided not to fine Denver Bronco cornerback Dale Carter for spitting at Jacksonville Jaguar tackle Tony Boselli.

Denver Coach Mike Shanahan isn’t surprised.

“They don’t fine somebody for spitting in somebody’s direction,” Shanahan said. “If they did that, they’d be fining a lot of people. When you see Dale in practice, he spits all the time.”

Charming.

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His English is painful too: A severely sprained right ankle didn’t stop Minnesota Viking receiver Cris Carter from lining up against the Green Bay Packers and thereby extending his starting streak to 111 games.

Not that he was able to do much, though. As he said, “If I could go, I would have went.”

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Trivia answer: Bobby Orr’s.

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And finally: When the Australian Open takes place in Melbourne in January, center court will have a new name.

Australian tennis officials said from

now on it will be known as the Rod Laver Arena, after the only player to twice have won all four grand slam singles titles in one year.

“This is a crowning achievement to my tennis career,” said Laver, 61, now almost fully recovered from a stroke suffered in July last year.