It’s Going to Be One Big Show at Big Top 2000

Does anybody really know what time it is? Does anybody really care? Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’ into the future. Let’s do the time warp again. Ground control to Major Tom. . . . Sorry about the cheese, folks, but it’s the end of the world as we know it, and Lord knows, I feel fine. That’s right, kiddies, it’s time to take your protein pills and put your helmets on, because it’s gonna be a bumpy night. . . . While most folks will be “Red Dawn”-ing it on the couch on New Year’s Eve, some will be out enjoying the pleasures of the flesh, i.e., connecting with humans in a non-virtual reality. If I gotta kick off my heels and walk, I’m gonna high-tail it to Big Top 2000 at the El Rey Theatre. There’s gonna be knife throwers, snake charmers, lesbian glass wrestling, aerialists and the mighty Joseph Brooks spinning rock ‘n’ roll anthems till 4 a.m. (now dat’s da joint!). . . . Over at the Playroom, Cherry’s invited the legendary Angelyne to sing her hits and show off her . . . prowess. We hear our boy Leo’s having a party in Silver Lake at a hilltop monastery. To find it, just follow the line of young groupies. . . . Meanwhile, back at the Rancho de la Luna, a Joshua Tree ranch and recording studio, a few cool cats are setting up shop for the weekend, camping out under desert starlight or getting a room (we hear, Queens of the Stone Age may play). . . . Now remember, millennium marauders, don’t stop thinking about tomorrow. Yesterday’s gone, yesterday’s gone.