LAUGH LINES
Name Game: “Social Security records show that Jacob has replaced Michael as the most popular boys name in the U.S., with Emily No. 1 for girls. Least popular boys name: the Artist Formerly Known as Prince.” (Bob Mills)
The Joke’s on Her: “Hillary Clinton will emcee ‘America’s Millennium Gala’ tonight in Washington, D.C. How the mighty have fallen. Six years ago, she was leading a health-care revolution; today she’s wondering if she should open with a Monica joke.” (Argus Hamilton)
Royal Flush: “Queen Elizabeth knighted Sean Connery. Up until now he’s had no royal title, just the ladies-in-waiting.” (Mills)
*
The Essential
David Letterman
Favorite Adult Films
of Wall Street Traders
10. “The Very Big Compensation Package”
9. “Barely Mature Bonds”
8. “The Devil in Dow Jones”
6. “Entering the Asian Market”
5. “Salomon Sisters”
4. “Bodacious Beauties Who Love Balding, Pudgy, Middle-Aged Desk Jockeys”
3. “Behind the Greenspan”
2. “Charles Schwab Does Dallas”
1. “Trump’s Tower”
Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.
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