Somewhat Less Than Miraculous

A roundup of unusual news stories:

You Too Can Walk on Water: Tourists will soon be able to simulate Jesus’ walking on water on the Sea of Galilee. Israel’s National Parks Authority has authorized construction of a submerged bridge in the lake, which has been a pilgrimage site since at least the 3rd century.

“In the beginning we thought it was a joke,” said the agency’s head of planning, Zeev Margalit.

But after reviewing the plans and canvassing church authorities about the idea, Margalit concluded it would “not hurt the feelings of the Christian tourists and it would not be too kitschy, so we decided to go with it.”

The 13-foot-wide, 28-foot-long, crescent-shaped floating bridge will be submerged two inches below water, and will be able to accommodate up to 50 people. To enhance the “walking on water” effect, it will not be railed, but lifeguards and boats will be on hand in case a walker slips off.

The bridge is one of numerous projects approved by Israeli authorities for the millennium, when 4 million pilgrims are expected.

Some church authorities said they were reserving judgment on the bridge until August, when it is due to be in place. “It is problematic,” said a spokesman for the Roman Catholic Church in Israel. “It will lead to various interpretations.”

Margalit wouldn’t identify the contractor or reveal the bridge’s structural secret, which he said the entrepreneur had patented.

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Stupid Crook of the Week: A drug dealer in Modesto who rejected a plea bargain because a psychic predicted he’d never be convicted now faces at least 10 years in prison.

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Graffiti Gets a Rise Out of Town: A little graffiti has turned the north-central Kansas town of Agra into Viagra. About two weeks ago, someone scaled the water tower in the community of 300 and painted a “v” and an “i” in front of the town’s name, resulting in “viAgra”--the impotence treatment drug. The mayor said the new lettering will likely stay. Repainting the tower would cost about $1,200.

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ABBA Clones Hit Vietnam: Sweden has come up with a novel way to celebrate 30 years of diplomatic relations with Hanoi: unleashing a band that mimics 1970s pop legend ABBA. The group, called Arrival, rocked outdoor stadiums in Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City. Tickets cost up to 200,000 dong ($14.40).

News McNuggets:

* A Houston teacher found a dead frog in the broccoli she got with her school lunch. Aramark Corp., which handles food services for the school, said the frog apparently got into the greens during processing. Houston is home to former President and avowed broccoli-hater George Bush.

* Couples seeking the status symbol of a baby born at the dawn of the year 2000 should seek to conceive on April 9, a New Zealand newspaper said.

* If Shanghai diners feel a nagging urge to visit their favorite “hot pot” restaurant, there may be a good reason. Health authorities found that many of the city’s hot pot eateries were adding opium poppies to the broth to keep customers coming back for more, the official Wenhui Daily said.

* A Georgia man who admitted trying to extort a theater chain by threatening to tell the public that he laced popcorn with his Aunt Effie’s cremated ashes has been sentenced to three years’ probation.

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Wide World of Weird is published on Sundays. Off-Kilter runs Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Contributors: Linda Finestone, Mike Faneuff.