It Only Seems That the Rose Parade Never Ends

Entertainment technology is becoming so complicated that it obviously baffles some viewers.

The day after KTLA-TV’s Rose Parade broadcast, which was shown five times, co-host Stephanie Edwards was stopped by a fan in a mall. “I really enjoyed you and [co-host] Bob Eubanks,” the fan said. “I watched the parade three times. I think you did your best work the second time.”

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SIGNS CAN BE BAFFLING, TOO: Bill Dixon of Manhattan Beach spotted a guidepost that seemed to indicate that north was west of east, and never the twain shall meet, or maybe they will, now. Don Bennett of La Canada, meanwhile, came upon some parking signs that were only partially in agreement. At least they’re both pointing east. Or maybe north (see photos).

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THE WINNERS ARE . . . : In my search to find a suitable New Year’s Eve celebration for L.A.--as opposed to a rerun of Dick Clark’s show from New York--I’m awarding a first-place tie to Robert Verdugo and Curtis Wilson.

Each separately suggested having the letters on the “Hollywood” sign light up one by one during the countdown of the last nine seconds, with fireworks exploding at midnight.

Verdugo and Wilson each win Only in L.A.’s grand prize, a Critters bar T-shirt that says “Happy Hours During Car Chases.”

I must admit I was swayed by the last line of Verdugo’s letter, which was: “I wrote this during jury duty.”

Anyone suffering through that mostly sit-around-and-do-nothing ordeal deserves an award.

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RUNNERS-UP: Among those receiving honorable mention in the New Year’s Eve event contest, by the way, were Wendy Andruschak of Gardena and Rico Topazio of Culver City, each of whom suggested a car chase culminated by the ceremonial laying down of the freeway spike strip. At the stroke of midnight, the fleeing motorist’s tires would blow out.

I was also impressed by Victoria Herd’s idea to have “a torrent of mud unleashed from a hillside along Pacific Coast Highway.” (How about a mudslide chasing a car?)

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TRANSLATION, PLEASE: I mentioned the reader who saw a closed-captioned news broadcast that spelled “urological” as “you’re logical.” This is a genre that was made for Only in L.A. I watched the closed-captioning version of the Bob Hope golf tournament over the weekend and read that one celebrity participant, actor Samuel L. Jackson, was the star of “Pulp Fix On.”

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AND IN THE NEWSPAPER DIVISION: A reader wrote to say that a weekly advertiser contained an offer of a pair of men’s size 9 “Floor Shine” shoes.

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SOMEBODY’S ALL WET: Leslie Lindemann found one cruise line that seems to take the concept of dining at sea too literally (see accompanying). She suspects the ad was supposed to say “open” seating dining.

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MAY HIS DIRTY TRICK BOOMERANG ON HIM: A reader wrote Long Beach’s Grunion Gazette, “Are you aware that there is an elderly man on the beach throwing a boomerang and a Frisbee at our birds?” Sometimes life is truly stranger than fix on.

miscelLAny:

Congrats to Richard Mikesell of Van Nuys, who just won a national “Best of Spam Recipe” contest. Mikesell, you no doubt recall, qualified by finishing first at the L.A. County Fair with his concoction of Spamigo Green Chili Stew. It combines Spam with tomatillos, jalapenos and Anaheim chiles. Anything to kill the flavor of Spam, I say.

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Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by carrier pigeon at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.