LAUGH LINES
Pots and Kettles: “President Clinton [is] attacking Hollywood--well, sure, it’s not an election year for him--Clinton said today Hollywood must be held accountable. Washington holding Hollywood accountable. That’s like Sodom checking up on Gomorrah.” (Jay Leno)
The Heat Is On: “Back East, what a heat wave. It was so hot in Washington, even Al Gore’s presidential campaign was starting to heat up.” (Leno)
The Heat Is On, II: “It was so hot in New York, people were asking the Statue of Liberty to put her arm down.” (Leno)
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The Essential
David Letterman
Top Other Lists
Kept by the FBI
10. J. Edgar Hoover dress and high-heel sizes.
9. Guests Rosie O’Donnell has yelled at.
8. Chinese citizens who don’t yet have U.S. military secrets.
7. Guys who use the phrase “okey-dokey.”
6. People who are living a vida that’s a little too loca.
5. People under 80 who watch CBS prime time.
3. Mother-daughter stripper guests Jerry Springer has slept with.
1. Female agents who are even one-tenth as hot as Scully.
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