A Parent’s Love

When there is a writer in the family, relatives tend to get nervous about family secrets. Not so with Betty DeGeneres, author of “Love, Ellen, A Mother / Daughter Journey.”

The secrets were already out.

DeGeneres, who moved to Ojai in February, will sign and discuss her memoir at 4 p.m. today at the Local Hero Bookshop, 254 E. Ojai Ave.

DeGeneres grew up in a conservative Republican family, became a young working mother and later a speech pathologist. It has been 20 years since her comedian-actress daughter told her she was gay. When she did, DeGeneres asked Ellen if she was sure, if maybe it could be a phase. No, Ellen said, she was sure and it was not a phase.

The book traces a mother’s path from acceptance to an even deeper friendship with her daughter.

“Every family of a gay person has its own story,” she wrote in her book. “This was ours, a story that would develop and unfold in many surprising ways.”

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DeGeneres has been thrust into her own spotlight, giving speeches around the country as the first nongay spokeswoman for the Human Rights Campaign’s National Coming Out Project.

Along the way she has become a surrogate mother to gays who have been rejected or disowned by family members, and she has concluded that, above all, there is nothing so important and so craved as a parent’s love.

“I’ve certainly been getting some really amazing letters,” DeGeneres said last week. “The publisher told me it’s more than they have gotten from any other book.

“Of course,” she added with a laugh, “most books don’t ask for feedback.”

Writing is not exactly a new interest--DeGeneres has had articles published in the Christian Science Monitor and has collected rejections from other magazines.

She wrote the book in nine months--on airplanes, in hotels, wherever she could. Her collaborator, Mim Eichler-Rivas, gets credit for organizational skills and for prodding her memory, but DeGeneres did the writing.

“I loved the way we did it,” DeGeneres said. “The writing is mine except for little things she would do here and there. She’s given to hyperbole and I’m given to understatement. She would show me something and I would say, no, I’d never say that.”

DeGeneres also consulted with her children.

“Ellen and [son] Vance read the very first completed manuscript because I wouldn’t put anything in there that either of them didn’t want,” she said. “They were very proud of it--Ellen, Anne and Vance all are.”

Now DeGeneres is eager to connect with the local writing community--she would like to try her hand at fiction, for one thing. She will be checking out the Santa Barbara Writers Conference this week and has been invited to be on the new book panel Thursday.

Meanwhile, she loves Ojai despite the heat. “I’m from New Orleans,” she said. “I know about heat and humidity. If it’s too horrible, I’ll stay in a lot.”

HAPPENINGS

* Today, 10 a.m. Ray Bradbury, Charles Schulz and literary agents Michael Larsen and Elizabeth Pomada will join Fran Halpern on her weekly radio show, “Connection,” on KCLU-FM (88.3). At 4 p.m. Betty DeGeneres will appear at a reading and signing of her memoir, “Love Ellen, A Mother / Daughter Journey.” Local Hero Bookshop, 254 E. Ojai Ave., Ojai, 646-3165.

* Tuesday, 4 p.m. Susan B. Anthony will be discussed at a biography program for school-age children. Thousand Oaks Barnes & Noble, 160 S. Westlake Blvd., 446-2820. At 7 p.m. Poetry workshop with Pepperdine University professor Michael Collings. Borders, 125 W. Thousand Oaks Blvd., Thousand Oaks, 497-8159. At 7:30 p.m. The Spiritual Reading Group will discuss “The Gifts of the Jews: How a Tribe of Desert Nomads Changed the Way Everyone Thinks and Feels” by Thomas Cahill. Calabasas Barnes & Noble, 4735 Commons Way, (818) 222-0542.

* Wednesday, 9:30 a.m. Story time with “Thomas the Tank Engine.” Ventura Barnes & Noble, 4360 E. Main St., 339-9170. At noon, Harlan Coben will sign and discuss his latest book, “The Final Detail.” Mysteries to Die For, 2940 Thousand Oaks Blvd., Thousand Oaks, 374-0084.

* Thursday, 7:30 p.m. Great Books of the Century Reading Group will discuss “The Plague” by Albert Camus. Calabasas Barnes & Noble, (818) 222-0542.

* Friday, 7 p.m. First Book Storytime features “June 29, 1999” by David Weiser, the adventures of a girl scientist from Ho-Ho-Kas, N.J. Ventura Barnes & Noble, 339-9170.

* Saturday, 10 a.m. Andrew Klavan will sign and discuss “Hunting Down Amanda.” Mysteries to Die For, 374-0084. At 10:30 a.m. Local author Alexis O’Neill will read “Loud Emily” at story time. Thousand Oaks Barnes & Noble, 160 S. Westlake Blvd., 446-2820. At 10:30 a.m. The Cat in the Hat will appear at Calabasas Barnes & Noble, (818) 222-0542. At 8 p.m. The Hard Hat Theatre Company presents “Seuss on the Loose” story time. Calabasas Barnes & Nobles, (818) 222-0542.

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Catch you next week.

Information about book signings, writers groups or publishing events can be faxed to Ann Shields at 647-5649 or e-mailed to anns40@aol.com.