LAUGH LINES
On the Campaign Trail: Dan Quayle now always says in his speeches, “Murphy Brown is gone, but I’m still here.” “He’s right. Give him some credit. Dan Quayle is now officially the longest-running comedy in America.” (Jay Leno)
On the Campaign Trail II: Orrin Hatch makes it 12 Republicans who are running for president. “But don’t worry--they represent all shades of white.” (Leno)
Silly Science I: The American Medical Assn. is calling for a five-year ban on human cloning. “They need the time to figure out whether clones are covered by the original person’s health insurance.” (Daily Scoop)
Silly Science II: The Columbia glacier is moving between 82 and 115 feet a day. “Amazingly, a glacier is actually faster than the San Diego Freeway.” (Kenny Noble Cortes)
Check Your Calendar: Last week was National Hermit Week. “And to celebrate, the Unabomber didn’t call any of his friends.” (Bill Williams)
The Gods Are Not Pleased: A summer solstice celebration in England was scuttled when crowds stormed Stonehenge. “Is it possible to ruin ruins?” (Daily Scoop)
Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.
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