Some Wild Monkey Business at Party

These days, many parents see their child’s birthday not as the occasion for a mere party but for a production--involving the installation of gymnastic equipment or an appearance by a magician, singer or an animal act.

But even the most controlling parent can script an animal act only so far. In a wealthy enclave of West L.A., for example, a monkey was recently invited to a kid’s bash. The creature was escorted into the spacious backyard where it took one look at the boisterous children, screeched and disappeared into the trees that ringed the estate. (Monkey see, monkey go.) The frightened children were ushered inside the house.

The handler apologized, saying she had never worked with this performer before. The unsociable animal returned from its jaunt about an hour later and was led away. The children stayed inside.

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DINING GUIDE FOR THE ADVENTUROUS: Today’s high-priced selections (see accompanying) include a quarter piece of chicken that sells for $4.95 (submitted by Angela Johnson), some noodles that cost a pretty penny (sent by Althea Graham, Donn Tompkins and others), and a dish that wouldn’t seem to be a bargain at any price (Jefferson Dur).

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L.A. INSULT OF THE DAY: Jeff Bliss of San Luis Obispo sent along the following from San Francisco Chronicle columnist Scott Ostler: “Close call for the President! Air Force One had to veer sharply over L.A. on Saturday when a commuter jet wandered into the wrong air space. It was such a near miss that the two pilots were able to flip one another off, in accordance with L.A. air traffic regulations.”

Come on, Ostler. Why not praise how much Southland pilots have calmed down?

It’s been more than 11 years--the date was Aug. 6, 1987--since the pilot of a Cessna aircraft reported to authorities that the pilot of another small plane pointed a gun at him off the Newport Beach coast for approaching too close.

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THE WONDERS OF TECHNOLOGY: A package from Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-Calif.) arrived at The Times on Monday, just three days after it was dispatched via Federal Express from her office in the downtown Reagan Building. That’s two blocks away. Did it go by way of Memphis, the company’s home base? Oh, yes, the package announced an event that took place at 11 a.m. on Monday. The package arrived at 1 p.m.

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FALSE ALARMS DEPT.: A Seal Beach resident “reported her neighbor hammering on the wall, possibly signaling for help,” the Los Alamitos News-Enterprise said. Police investigated and found that the hammering was the work of a construction crew. The neighbor won’t really signal for help until she gets the bill.

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THEY ASKED FOR IT: Arthur Marx, speaking at the Museum of Radio and Television in Beverly Hills, told this story about Groucho, his father. In the 1950s, when Groucho was the wise-cracking host of the “This Is Your Life” show, a couple approached him in a restaurant. The man said that he and his wife enjoyed the way that Groucho insulted guests in ways so subtle that the guests seemed not to notice.

Then the man said, “Would you insult my wife, please?”

Groucho regarded the woman for a moment, then said, “I’m disappointed in you, sir. With a wife who looks like that I’d think you would have no difficulty handling that on your own.”

miscelLAny:

The Sheik of Brunei has never visited the Beverly Hills Hotel, which he owns. Hey, I bet he’d get good room service.

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Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.