If That’s the Biggest Crime of the Day...

The police log of the Los Alamitos News-Enterprise listed this incident:

“La Palma, Nov. 6, Walker Street, 8200 block, 9:49 p.m.: Numerous cars had their wiper blades raised while parked in Kennedy High School’s parking lot.”

I hope the perpetrator realizes that if he’s caught, that’s strike one.

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DRIVING HOME THE POINT: Readers Diane Hoover and Bob Brigham, among others, sent us shots of a warning directed at restaurant customers next door to a shopping center in Hermosa Beach (see photo).

The author of the sign was property owner Roger Bacon, who says it has cut down on trespassers.

Bacon, by the way, was something of a television personality more than a quarter-century ago when his family’s Bacon Ford hosted various live sports shows on KTLA Channel 5.

One of the sports that Bacon sponsored was semipro football featuring the Orange County Rhinos. (Not to be confused with the L.A. Rams, but he thinks the Rhinos were nearly as good.)

“It was wild,” he said. “One time, two of the [Rhinos] players were kicked out for fighting and we didn’t have any substitutes. So we sent them into the locker rooms and had them change into different uniforms. Then we painted mustaches on them with that stuff that players put under their eyes. And we sent them back on the field.”

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BARTLETT’S FAMOUS QUOTATIONS THEY WEREN’T: Bacon and his father, Les, were also known for the slogan they uttered on the air: “Get off your couch and come down to Bacon Ford in Hermosa Beach.”

Here are some other trademark lines associated with Southland car pitchmen, some of which became familiar only through constant repetition on late-night television:

* “Here’s Cal Worthington and his dog Spot.”

* “And that’s the truth.” (Pete Ellis)

* “You won’t get a lemon at Toyota of Orange.”

* “If it’s a good car, it’s a miracle.” (Trader Vic’s Miracle Cars)

* “No Sunday selling.” (Frank Taylor)

* “Hi friends.” (Ralph Williams)

* “I’d give them away, but my wife won’t let me.” (Madman Muntz)

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MOSTLY . . . WHAT? Byron Anderson of Santa Maria came upon a weather forecast that seemed vague about the air quality for the day (see accompanying).

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L.A. INSULT OF THE DAY: Jane Ellen Wayne writes in her biography of Clark Gable that in 1930 the largely unknown actor was offered the starring role in the play “The Last Mile” at the Belasco Theater in Los Angeles. Gable declined at first, saying he could never measure up to the more experienced Spencer Tracy, who was playing the same role on Broadway. The producer in L.A. laughed at Gable’s apprehension and told him, “You won’t have to be that good out here.”

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WHOOPS! “Tribute to Style,” a fund-raiser held by the entertainment industry for high school artists, contained a spelling-challenged tribute in the event program. One advertiser called the sponsors of the event “Mentors of Tomorrow’s Genious.”

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USE YOUR COMMON SENSE: Jumping or diving from a mole is obviously dangerous, so I hope that Scott Wilson’s snapshot will serve as a reminder (see photo).

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miscelLAny:

Oh, yes, about Wilson’s photo, which was taken on Catalina Island: The dictionary defines a mole as “a massive stone structure set up in the sea as a breakwater, pier or jetty.”

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Steve Harvey can be reached at 1-800-LATIMES (Ext. 77083), by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.